Californian Girl
by Little-mel
Summary: Buffy Summers is once again vacating in England. One of her favourite past-times. She hates her work, and is escaping from her daily life as a Californian girl. Leaving everyone behind she begins to relax, until a certian bleached hair man bumps into her.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own nothing; Mutant Enemy and Joss are the true brains behind BTVS.  
  
Title: Californian Girl  
  
Summary: Buffy Summers is once again vacating in England. This is one of her favourite past-times. She hates the work she now does and is escaping from her daily life as a Californian girl. She's left behind her mother, sister, ex-boyfriend, job, and boss. But when a certain bleach blonde comes falling into her life, Buffy wonders whether being a Californian girl is really worth it.  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *  
  
Adding another bag to her already loaded arms, the blonde haired beauty swayed her hips as she walked over the cobbled streets of Northamptonshire's main shopping area. She walked through the swing doors of Swansgate Centre where Topshop was just to her left.  
  
She needed a good old retail therapy. She was on vacation, and she was going to enjoy it. She was as determined as she could ever be; all she wanted was to forget her troubles, her job and her boss.  
  
Her boss. there was a sore subject. As she looked half heartily through the clothes on the cramped shop walls, she felt herself cringe. Liam Angelus, boss to the club she worked in, or used to, she still wasn't clear on that one. He had employed her as a performer; she would dance around half naked satisfying his customers and be paid well for doing so. Of course her family and friends thought she was still working as an assistant to a computer programmer.  
  
She could do more with her life, and she knew she could. She had a couple of degrees and had really once been an assistant to one of the greatest computer programmer's that California knew. But she had left when Riley had asked her to.  
  
Riley. Another sore subject. Her ex, God she had loved him, and never told him, she was scared he would hurt her if he knew. Everyone but her knew he loved her; she was his precious gem, which nobody could touch. He had to protect her, and she was one girl who hated being protected.  
  
Still she had loved him, he was plain and ordinary the one thing she had wanted. But he said after a two-year relationship that he didn't feel as if she loved him, of course this was after she caught him in the bed they had shared so many times, with another woman (faking an orgasm). But still she had chased after him; willing to forgive him, take it as her fault. But he had left her, ran back to Ohio. He liked the cornbread better than sticking at it with her.  
  
By now she had picked up a few clothes, the sizes were different in England, but by now she knew she was a size eight. She had been to visit Giles so many times, and on her first time he had taken her out and let her get acquainted with the town. She even had friends over here that knew nothing of her American life. She was herself out here, never being criticized. She often thought of living in this cold country, although London did nothing for her. Giles had explained, you could buy a four- bedroom house with a back garden, a front garden, and a garage in Northampton, for the same price as a two bedroom flat, in a crummy area in London. So if she ever plucked up the courage to leave America, her family and all hope of regaining her life back for good, she knew this would be the place she came to.  
  
Now in the changing room she stared at the reflection staring back at her, long blonde hair flowing over her shoulders and spilling around her back. Green eyes staring into the mirror and back into her own, Green, she pondered. Good mood, brown bad mood. Her mother had told her when she argued or dictated her eyes turned brown. Despite her thoughts she was still in a good mood, surprising, she thought. She wasn't tall; in fact she was only 5ft 3inces. She was petite; she had 34" legs if she wore boots, 32" without. Her stomach (which was now revealed) was flat and bronze, like the rest of her skin. Her arms tiny, Riley use to be able to encircle one with in hand, like some normal person could their wrist. Then again, she thought, Riley did have extraordinarily large hands.  
  
After her reflection check the bottled blonde began to try on a new dress. It was beaded and see through with delicate flowers lining the low v- neck. The peach slip underneath covered up her naked flesh and complimented her toned skin. The other things didn't seem to interest her anymore. Quickly and gently she slid it off her body and hung it back on its hanger. Slipping back into her brown Swede skirt and cream calf length boots, she stared at the dress sighing, she was in love and this time she could admit it. Bout time, she thought.  
  
After slipping into her beige top and jacket, she proceeded to the counter with PAY HERE swinging above the employees heads, jumping to the back of the queue, (another thing Giles had taught her.) she stood patiently, imaging the faces of all her friends as she walked into Edwards (where she had planned to meet up tomorrow night) with the knee length dress swaying and her pretty silver high heeled sandals elongating her legs.  
  
Once at the till she watched the lady scan in the barcode and a price flashing up on the screen, she handed the lady her card. Miss Elizabeth Summers staring her in the face, making her cringe. She hated the name Elizabeth, why her mother burdened her with it she had no idea, but thankfully her distant daddy (who had given her the exact credit card she was paying with now.) nicknamed her Buffy. Ever since she had insisted on every one calling her that.  
  
She signed her name, and got a look as the lady checked the signatures, once her card and purchases where in her possession she walked from the shopping centre. Shopping was great, but she had to many bags and spent way too much of her dads money, although he had told her to. It was his way of making up to her that he wasn't around. Always to busy fucking his secretary Buffy thought bitterly. Slowly she hailed a cab, but of course this wasn't the way to do it in England, so after half an hour of looking like a tourist she walked to the taxi bank and jumped into the back of a black cab.  
  
Within twenty minutes she was back in Mr Giles home. It was funny she didn't remember meeting him; she could only remember him in every step of her life. He was a close family friend and although legally they weren't related, in her own mind and often in his, he was her father. She asked him everything, if she needed anything she would just ask him, and she honesty thought she couldn't ask for a better person to look up to. They squabbled like father and daughter; and she even had her own room. She often visited him when she could, depending on work and other such things.  
  
"Buffy!" a female voice travelled up the stairs, and into her room.  
  
"Olivia!" she shouted back, giggling a little at her cheeky response.  
  
"Dinners ready hun." Buffy heard small steps against wooden flooring that covered the hall.  
  
"Coming!" she shouted as she hurried to hang all her purchases up. Running downstairs, her socks slipping on the wooden floor she skidded into the kitchen. Grabbing a drink of water she slowly padded into the dinning room.  
  
After a delicious meal, Buffy, Giles and Olivia made their way into the sitting room and turned the telly on. Giles and Olivia were snuggled up on the three seater, whereas Buffy was sitting on her feet with a pillow covering her bloated stomach, her head turned to the right watching the T.V often turning to look at the happy couple. She was so happy for her father figure, before Olivia he was physically alive but dead within. It hadn't always been like that; it started after Jenny had died. Allowing old memories to flow back Buffy closed her eyes and sunk into the comfy armchair.  
  
Jenny was Giles first love. They had been so shy together when they had first met each other. Buffy was 16 when she had found them holding hands under the table at her mothers house like a couple of school kids, trying to hide their feelings for one another from the outside world. Jenny was her mom's best friend they had been since school. Buffy could still remember her dark flowing hair and her wide smile. She was such a happy person, and a genuine good girl. When Giles and her announced their engagement Buffy had been so happy, she had cried, she and her sister had been made honorary bridesmaids and had been there to help Jenny choose her wedding dress.  
  
Not even a year into the marriage and Jenny announced she was pregnant. Giles became the happiest he had ever been. But then one night while in their apartment in California, above the shop they owned together, Giles rang Joyce worried. The ringing at twelve o'clock awoke Buffy and her little sister Dawn. Jenny hadn't shown up after going shopping. By now she was four months pregnant and everyone was worried. The search started that minute, with Buffy going around Giles' waiting in case Jenny came back, Dawn and her mother at home, in case she showed up there. Mr Giles and a few other family friends hunting for his wife.  
  
Four days later the police found her in the woodlands. She had been horrifically murdered, but they were all told she died instantly. Everything else the sick barstards had done to her was to her corpse. The baby also died instantly. But three years later they were caught, it had been a ritual killing and poor Jenny had just been plucked from a crowed. Nobody noticing. Giles had moved to England then, so he was surrounded by his real family rather than that of a fictional one. Giles and Joyce had been best friends in collage both enjoying history and its artefacts and still remained best friends to this day. But it was only until they caught the killers of his wife and child that Giles began to move on, and as he did so there was Olivia staring him in the face. It had taken her a year to convince him to take a chance on her and then four months ago they had been married, although this time, Buffy had just sat in the pews on Giles' family's side.  
  
And now they lay snuggled up together, clinging to each other as if they would die if they didn't. And Deep down Buffy wasn't sure if Giles did really feel like that. She loved that man with all her heart, she would never wish anything too ever hurt him, and if anything did. Well it had her to answer to.  
  
At least two hours later, Giles shock Buffy as gently as he could. Slowly she opened her rubbing them slightly with tiny fists.  
  
"Hey sleepyhead." Giles whispered. Not wanting to startle Buffy from her deep sleep.  
  
" Hey Giles." Buffy yawned, covering her mouth so she didn't breath her sleep breathe on Giles.  
  
"Think you should get to bed now." he took his glasses and began to rub them with the material of his loose shirt. Placing them back on he helped Buffy out of the chair by her arm.  
  
"Do you want a drink to take up with you?" he asked letting her arm fall to her side.  
  
"No, thanks." She smiled but then yawned again. Slowly she climbed the stairs whilst Giles grabbed himself a drink of water.  
  
Once in her bedroom, she loosened all her clothes and let them fall from her; she crawled into the bed sliding the covers over her naked body. She allowed her eyes to close and began to slip back into her previous dreams of past memories. Giles now padded gently up the stairs after sitting down for a moment to consider how lucky he was that after everything that had happened before, that he still had Olivia, Joyce, Dawn and Buffy. He loved them all so much considering he felt his heart had shrunk after Jenny's death. He didn't like to think of the baby that was never born. His child. Because if he didn't think about it, he didn't want to go into that prison and shoot the people who did it. Sod it he pondered. Wouldn't shoot 'em, I'd bloody torture them; show them the old Giles, the Giles that was formerly known as ripper. Instead of drinking his water he reached for his whiskey. After three tumblers full, he began to head to bed, all thoughts of becoming ripper disintegrating from his head.  
  
Buffy's sleeping body rolled around once again. Her subconscious reminding her of her life in California.  
  
Another normal day for Buffy Summers, watching her boyfriend playing football, from the rafters. Him waving to her smiling that big smile that was only for her. Her friend Cordelia sitting next to her, watching as her jock boyfriend caught the ball and passed it at speed to another player. Cordelia and Buffy scream and whooped as Riley set up another touch down. Neither saying a thing to each other, when the game finished Cordelia and Buffy waited for everyone to leave the stand as usual. Once the pitch was empty the two girls began to natter.  
  
"Oh my god. Buffy you'll never guess." Cordelia began.  
  
"What?" Buffy instantly interested.  
  
"I'm dating someone." Both raised their hands to the chest not making any contact and started to scream whilst shaking the hands.  
  
"Well.?" Buffy asked, waiting for the gossip.  
  
"Well, what?" Cordelia asked, teasing her best friend just a little.  
  
"Cordelia." Buffy whined. "Name. Age. Height. Details!"  
  
"Liam Angelus. 26. Dunno. and not yet but tonight should be the night."  
  
"Oh my god!" Buffy shouted.  
  
"So how are you and Riley?" Cordelia asked not really wanting to change the subject from her but knew that she really should.  
  
"Oh you know, ok." Buffy looked into the direction of the school not wanting to answer her best friends questions.  
  
"OK?" Cordelia looked into Buffy's eyes runching up her perfectly plucked eyebrows so they nearly met in the middle. "That's it?" she asked probing again.  
  
"Wouldn't you love to be able to cheer again, like we use to at school?" Buffy asked really trying to change the subject.  
  
"Don't you try and change the subject. But yes I would, anyway. why only ok?" she asked.  
  
"I love him Cordy, I really do. But I can't tell him, and every time he tells me I'm like, 'Do you want something to drink.' Or I'm all 'Thanks.' And I know he's getting peeved!"  
  
"So just tell him. I tell plenty of boys that, if it get me what I want." She waggled her eyebrows making Buffy laugh. Neither noticed the big muscular for mentioned boyfriend walk towards them, and when a very large hand fell none to gently on Buffy's shoulder they both jumped and then burst into another fit of giggles.  
  
Later that night Buffy moaned when she was suppose to and groaned when she was meant to. Cordelia had taught her this neat little trick to squeeze her inner muscles allowing the length within you to believe you were having an amazing orgasm. She thought Riley was great. She enjoyed the sex with him; she had a mini orgasm early when she had rubbed his length across her clit while he kissed her neck, softly but a bit too gummy. Then he'd slowly push it into her and rock back and forth slowly and then explode within her within five minutes. But she really wasn't complaining, (To him anyway.) it was just she'd like to experiment, missionary was just what they did every night. It was like a nightly routine. He'd come to their place, she'd tell him about her new job in a café.  
  
He liked that. He hated that she had a mind of her own. When she had been working as an apprentice he had moaned and convinced her into working at a local café. It paid more, not in the long run, but at that precise moment.  
  
Then he'd tell her about his, then she would cook dinner, they'd eat, watch T.V. then at ten they would get ready for bed, and by half past he would be making love to her. Routine, just what she wanted. Honestly. Finally he rolled of her spent. Within a further five minutes he would be asleep.  
  
Buffy woke up after reliving her life with Riley. She was now glad she wasn't with him. But a few months back she felt lost without him, she felt that she leaned on him, he was a pillar of support. Buffy looked at the flashing clock on the bedside cabinet. The red dial flash '06:04 am' at her quietly she slipped into some grey tracksuit bottoms and a pink tank top, tying her hair into a ponytail she quickly redid her make up before slipping a matching grey tracksuit top over her tanned arms.  
  
Running downstairs she grabbed some lucozade from the fridge, she used the chalk next to the notice board on the side of the wall next to the pantry. Writing as neatly as she could she scribbled down  
  
Giles + Olivia.  
  
Gone for a jog, back soon  
  
Hugs and kisses  
  
Buffy  
  
0x0x0x0x  
  
Turning the key in the lock, Buffy opened the front door, she slipped the key from the front door and then placing it in her pocket she began to jog from the house.  
  
*******  
  
A/N: how'd you like it? Please review and let me know.  
  
Mel xxx 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2 

            His first impression of the room was depressing, it was cold and dark, and had a slight damp smell to it. Grudgingly he stepped onto the dirty blue carpet that was in desperate need of some TLC. 

            Closing the door he breathed in deeply, regretting it immediately. He heard the different music coming from either side of him. He sighed loudly before dumping his duffle bag containing his items on the bed. It made a swishing sound after making a soft thud. Becoming curious he lifted the covers that seemed to have been cleaned in the last month, underneath the sheet was damp. Removing half of the sheet from the top the bleach blonde moaned. Slamming his fist into the wet mattress, making his knuckles brown from the dirty water retained within the old bedding. 

            Within a minute he was on the phone. He waited seven rings before an answering machine kicked in. Slamming the phone down without leaving a message he tried again, this time to be answered by a rough sounding male voice. 

"Hello?" the voice came down the phone.

"Harris?"  

"Ah, Spike… How's things?" The tone in his voice made Spikes blood boil.

"Are you taking the piss or something?" Spike shouted into the receiver. 

"What? Is there something wrong with the flat William?" 

"Thought I told you it's Spike. And yes there's something bloody wrong. Have you ever actually step foot in here?"

"Well, umm, yes of course I have. Do you think I'd buy a property without ever looking at it?" The hesitation in his voice sent Spike over the edge.

"Harris get over here, NOW!" with that Spike slammed the phone back into its dirty receiver.

            Spike sat in the armchair. Sighing as another load of dust wafted up into the air. He wouldn't touch another thing until his so-called landlord arrived. His mind fought with him whether or not to rest his head back. Taking a small breath he allowed his head to rock backwards into the somewhat surprisingly comfy armchair. Resting his eyelids he allowed the last few days to replay in his minds eye. He didn't understand where he had gone wrong.

*~*~*~

            Spike watched as the raven-haired beauty's head rocked back and forth beneath him. He felt her inner walks begin to quake. He began to ram his length back into her with force, then slowly he'd pull it nearly all the way out before ramming it into her until it nearly touched her womb. She cried out, screaming whilst he continued to pump into her fast, this was her second orgasm in this session. And during the foreplay she had cum very quickly. 

            She closed her eyes and let the feeling consume her, and then Spike grabbed her clit allowing her to shake as her orgasm began to grow to a new intensity. She blew hot air from between pursed lips while Spike enjoyed slowing the pace down a bit while he concentrated on pinching and rubbing her swollen clit. Spike felt her walls crumble until they began to milk him, as he came with her this time. 

"Oh Dru!" he shouted as he felt his seeds empty into the rubber confinements.

"Matt!" Drusilla shouted in unison. Spike nearly missed it, but she had screamed so loud he wouldn't be surprised if the neighbours heard. He stopped dead in his tracks. Not moving over than the odd tensing of muscles. 

            Drusilla opened her eyes and smiled. When it wasn't returned her eyes became hooded. 

"What's wrong my dark prince?"

"What's… What's… Bloody hell Dru!" with that Spike snatched the sheet from behind them and wrapped around his body as he violently removed it from hers. He looked at the pale naked form that lay unashamed on the crisp white sheets, her lower regions glistering, and her body sparkled with perspiration. She looked absolutely wonderful, but he couldn't bare her sight. She'd hurt him once again. His arm rose as he pointed at her.

"You cheating again, aren't ya?" his voice shook from exhaustion and disbelief.

"Aw, Spiky. Thought I was meant to share, didn't mean to, just get confused." She sighed and turned on her side, draping her arm around her until it was in front of her breasts. She slowly drew lazy circles around the outer ring of her nipple, then trailed it onto the sheets making her fingers look like legs as her index and middle finger walked up and down almost dancing.

"Are you mad baby?" 

"Dru! You cheated! You were thinking of him whilst FUCKING ME!" His voice was more of a growl when he finished. 

"Was I? How'd you know?" she asked almost playing with him. But Spike knew she wasn't she often had memory lapses. 

*~*~*

            Spike was rudely interrupted from his thoughts from loud banging on the door, getting up and dusting himself off, Spike stalked over to the door. Opening it he saw a dark haired man stare at him.

"Spike, what's so wrong with this place…" He trailed of as Spike stood to the side. The flat was visible to the owner, and he coughed as he inhaled the musky air.

"Thought you'd been here, Harris. So you expect me to pay to live here?"

"What? I told you it needed a little bit of tender loving care. And seeing as you're off the other sex at this moment, thought you'd like the distraction." By the end of his sentence Xander Harris was instantly regretting it. Spike's brow was wrinkled up, his blue eyes staring though him. His shoulders where slumped forward, and his dirty hands becoming fists then retracting back to show his palms. 

"Whelp, I need a new mattress, new sheets, A WHOLE NEW FUCKING APARTMENT!" Spike was boiling over, his thoughts of Dru making him upset then for Harris to mention them just set him alight.

"Look, Spike… I'll set you up in the Hotel down the road… two days tops… you'll have the perfect flat… Promise." Xander had brought his hands to his front clasping at each other, almost in a praying position. 

"Fair 'nough. Come on you can take me over there." With that Spike smiled and flashed his pearly whites. 

*****

In the car Spike had calmed down, he sparked up his awaiting fag, blowing the smoke out and fogging the passenger side of Xander's windscreen. Letting out a weak cough Xander tried to get Spikes attention.

"Spike, mate… look would you mind blowing it out the window, usually I don't allow people to smoke in the Xan-mobile, but for you I'll make an exception." He smiled weakly.

"K." Spike wound down the window and began to blow his awaiting smoke out.

The rest of the trip was in silence, as they pulled into the car park of a random hotel Spike opened the door and crushed his third cigarette in the twenty minute journey. Xander sighed and steeped out of his now smelling car. 

            Once inside Spike allowed Xander to make all the necessary arrangements. Xander took the key and went up with Spike. Once inside the room, Spike smiled.

"See bit of courtesy. Goes long way that."  Xander sheepishly nodded his head as Spike sat on the comfy mattress.

"Need one like this mate." He pointed at the bed before looking for a balcony. Finding it he headed straight to it pulling the last of his smokes from his duster pockets.

Once finishing his cigarette Spike turned to face an uncomfortable Xander.

"Fancy some beers tonight Whelp?" with a nod Spike wrapped hi arm around Xanders back. He desperately needed some alcohol. He needed fuelling because Drusilla was entering his mind, beckoning him to think of her.

"Better now then never." Without another word, Spike pulled Xander by the shoulders and dragged him to the bar on the ground floor. 

            Within three hours Xander was in a taxi heading home, he needed sleep and Spike could tell he snored. There was no way in hell he was allowing it to sleep in the same room as him. Another hour past and he was drunk. Mind numbingly drunk. Strolling over to the cigarette machine, he got his third packet. Sitting back at the bar, he ordered another glass of Jack Daniels, with ice. He couldn't think, and he was thankful. She haunted him, in every dream, every thought. Like what she had done was his fault, downing his second shot since sitting down five minutes ago, he ordered a bottle of the stuff to take to bed with him. 

            And when he got to the room, he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. 

*~*~*~*

"Spike you know I love you. Baby so I screwed a few guys, can you tell me that you never fucked some other girl?" she was swaying around him as he packed his stuff.

"No Dru, never did… fucking loved you. Bitch." He was close to tears but he didn't want to show them. 

"Yes I know you do… I love you to. I do honest." She smiled now behind him, stroking his shoulders. Standing up straight he pushed her away from him. He stalked towards the bedroom door.

"You drove me to it Spike!" Drusilla shouted. 

"What?" Spike shouted back. All feelings of whether he should forgive her flying straight out the window. 

"You heard… You thought once you got me, that I'd be good little Drusilla… well no way. You never showed me any affection." She cackled when she saw him drop his bag.

"Balloons, roses, showers of presents… love, my love Dru… how dare you say that I gave you no affection." By now he was standing in front of her. 

"I couldn't have done more. Don't you understand how much I love you?" he caressed her cheek.

"I know baby I take it all for granted." She moved her head into his caress.

"Yea you do. Bye bitch." With that he stormed out forever ending that chapter of his life. Or so he thought. For months he received her phone calls begging him to come back. Then when she found her new squeeze that's when the trouble started. Surprisingly the bloke was called Matt, Dru told him Spike use to beat her up on a regular bases. One night whilst staying at a mates place, something happened to Spike that changed his life, and which led him to his now current state.

The knock at the door startled both of the present occupiers they weren't use to visitors. 

"Clem mate… you gonna get that?" Spike sipped at his brandy.

"Yes, I going." Clem was Spikes oldest friend; they were never the type to go out in public drinking together or anything like that. Clem, as lovable as he was, had a disadvantage, which Spike constantly tried to cheer him up about. He was fat, but not tyre around the waist fat, but rolls and rolls of fat. One time he had lost the remote, gone out brought one, then after washing later that night; he had lifted a roll, to find it rammed in-between the skin. Spike was the only one allowed to comment on it though. He new Spike was just joking, anyone else and they wouldn't be conscious much longer. Clem had a mean punch despite his state of fitness and his ugly mug. 

"Hello?" Clem asked as he opened the door, curiously thinking who it could be. He didn't notice the knuckleduster-covered fist punch him straight in the forehead. He was out for the count.  

"Clem?" Spike hadn't heard his mate for a while. Standing up he began to stroll towards the hallway. 

"Clem?" then he saw him on the floor out cold. Then he felt the hands on his shoulders. Using his opponent's weight he rolled him over his back so that he was facing up from the floor where he had just landed, hardly.

"Well, well. What we got 'ere then?" Spike taunted, the dark hair man flipped back up and stared Spike in the eye. 

"You are good, she warned me." the dark haired man thought out loud.

"She? What? Care to fill me in?" 

"Sure, then I'll teach you not to hit a woman." Spike began to panic, although his façade never faulted. 

"Hit? Who?" 

"You touch my Drusilla again, I'll fucking kill you, consider this a warning." With that three other big men jumped him from behind, Spike managed to keep up, not wanting to get beating to a pulp. But after losing two of them Matt and another bloke tackled him down. He took a good hiding, a couple of broken ribs, lost half a tooth, and a nasty cut above the eyebrow, and on the opposite side one running through. He was left unconscious bruised and sore. 

After that night, Clem decided that he was going back to Newcastle to be with his mum, whilst Spike wanted to get the hell away from London, so packing his bag he went to the only place he knew other than the tourist central, he headed to Northampton. 

*~*~*~*~

            Spike awoke in a mood, he turned his head and tried to get back to sleep, unable to he looked at the flashing clock on the VCR across the room. It blinked 5:03. Realising sleep wasn't coming his way Spike stood up, immediately regretting it as the master of all headaches came flashing over him, slower this time he stood and searched in his bag for any signs of relief. Finding them in the form of three white tablets he walked to the bathroom. He washed them down his dry throat; next he brushed his furry teeth and scrubbed his face. Jumping into a cold shower he washed all the nights worries away, feeling slightly human he made his way to the cabinet above the sink, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Grabbing his disposable razor, Spike shaved away his stubble and trimmed his side burns. 

            Walking back into the hotel room Spike smiled slightly, he grabbed his smokes and walked to the balcony. The problem with London was you couldn't watch the sunrise from behind the trees, now Spike could and took the opportunity. He smokes two cigarettes before he got bored looking down for another, he realised they were empty. Walking to his room, he locked the balcony doors, grabbed his duster from the back of the chair, and looked at the VCR clock. 6:13 flashed back into his dull blue eyes.

"Fresh air, what I need."  With that Spike stalked out of his room, down the stairs and into the hotel lobby, picking up the fags he needed, he stormed out into the cold air, his duster billowing behind him. 

TBC…


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter 3.**

          Her first thought had been 'FREEZING' the minute she had stepped from the warm confinements of Giles' home. She had forgotten her Walkman and had been rather pissed off for about quarter of an hour. But as she rounded a corner she came to a woodland opening, the small path led down towards an arch and it was dark within, slowly approaching smelling the fresh dew in the air, all her worries began to disappear one by one. Buffy had always loved the dark, she could be herself in the shadows, but while the lights were on she had to play to everyone, be the Buffy they wanted her to be. Her mind thick with thoughts she continued to jog as the morning sun shone through the thick ceiling of leaves and branches, following manmade pathways.

          Spike had been annoyed, never before had he noticed, but the machines that you only buy fags from when it's late (Or early depending on your point of view) not only over charged you by at least one pound fifty but they only gave you sixteen in a pack! So before walking he had taken the liberty to stop at a small corner shop before heading towards a part of Northampton he didn't know. As he walked the paths that led by houses and bungalows, he watched as local kids did their paper-rounds. Spike had never been one to work whilst young. When at school he stole from the geeks that did do paper-rounds so he could have a packet of cigarettes. He smoked since he was eleven, just kind of happened. His friend (who was older) had been sparking one up, Spike liked the smell, and that was it… hooked from the first drag. Bringing himself back to reality Spike coughed. Looking to his left he saw a large pylon surrounded by bushes and other such things, following the dirt path he sparked up one of his rip off fags. 

          Buffy hadn't seen a soul for a while now, she was quietly singing to herself, making up words as she went, laughing when she messed it up. Eventually she had given up and sat on a bench, she hadn't really noticed until now but she was sitting opposite a reservoir. Swans elegantly swam back and forth; their heads held high on long necks, she swung her legs underneath the seat. The lake was peaceful, the trees and woodland surrounding it making hushed sounds in the wind, and the occasional honk from the beauties swimming on the lake, small ducklings and their families floating around. It was evident to Buffy that the lake was in no way for swimming in, it wasn't clean or really sea blue, but the calming effect was taking over her. 

A ruffle from behind startled her.

Spike had followed some sort of old railroad track. And was feeling a little lost.  Not that he minded, he had nothing to do today, so if he spent it trying to find his way home, then so be it. Soon enough he saw an exit from the corridor of over grown trees and bushes. As he reached the exit he stopped, mapping out the land in front before stepping onto new territory. Staring out from his chamber of nature, he saw a wide dirt road which was obviously had been used by cars for fishermen, the lake to his right conformed his thoughts, to his left was a large field which led to a huge electrical station, but no noise could be heard, and the overgrown bush seemed to hide the building. Peeping around the tree almost like a doorframe, Spike looked to the opening that was directly to his right. His breath hitched up a notch and his heart skipped a beat. Pure lust fell upon him as he stared side on at a beauty, far more gorgeous than the lake and all it's creatures could dream of being, closing his eyes he leaned back. 

There was no way he was going to even introduce himself. Not a chance. He wasn't having his heart trampled on by another skirt. Standing straight and breathing in the clean air, Spike took a step behind him, his foot balancing nicely on the log behind him, another step back and the log broke, all posture and grace left him as he fell backwards, trying to grab onto a branch or something from to save himself from completely falling, Spike grabbed a rotting branch his hand slid down the branch, little twigs and splinters puncturing his pale skin, digging deep into his hand. His head hit a wooden track of the old railroad and for a moment everything went black. 

It was quarter to seven in the morning and Buffy was sitting stiffly on the wooden bench her head instantly turning to the left where she had heard the trees move, straight afterwards there was a log breaking and the trees moved violently. All her senses were going awhile, she was in an unusual place, and was rather scared. After no noise for almost two minutes Buffy begun to relax.

"A bunny, that's all it was Buffy, a bunny." She spoke to herself. She rubbed the back of her neck, but it wouldn't return to the scenic view in front of her, it still strained to the left. 

"Bollocks" a deep husky voice came from the point she was looking at. Getting up she balled her hands into fists, and walked towards the opening. 

            Spike began to wake up, sitting up slightly he felt week and dizzy, putting his good hand to the back of his head he felt the warm feeling of blood. Closing his eyes he swore. 

"Bollocks!" his word drawing a lot of energy from his weakened state. Looking up he saw her. Tracksuit covered up her flesh, her hair in a blonde ponytail, not a strand out of place. Her lips pouting, her tiny fists all balled up. 

"Hi" Spike said his natural smirk playing on is lips. 

            He had spoke to her, it was only enough to bring Buffy out from her daydream. He was half sitting half lying; his long legs sprawled out from underneath him, his bleach blonde locks curly although gelled back. He was a picture of a God; he was absolutely breathtaking, way out of her league. She almost chuckled at the picture she was painting in her head; there was this bleached God, smiling at her, they hit it off immediately, and then he asked her out for dinner, she agreed got ready, then met with him, the were getting along just great until he asked her what she did for a living, she'd say 'I'm a lap dancer, and he'd laugh and excuse himself never to come back.

"Hi." She replied, unsure what to do, he was obviously hurt, and she couldn't just leave him here… No she had to stay and help, but she wouldn't allow any feelings to become of this encounter, he may be wonderfully good looking, but she couldn't allow herself to be hurt, she still had that thing to sort out with Angel, and see if she still had a job. 

            She hadn't noticed his hand, not until he coughed, once again bringing her out of her trance. Obliging she helped him up using his good hand. Standing up Spike noticed how petite she really was. 

"Thanks." He said shyly. 

"That's ok." She smiled sweetly, looking him up and down. 

            Spike noticed the blonde's raking eyes, and tried to stand a little taller, but the sudden change in altitude made him wince. Noting the pain shooting through the mans midnight blue eyes Buffy immediately went to action, taking his firm arm, and ignoring the tingles racing down her arm and throughout her body, she helped him to the bench she had been previously occupying. Sitting him down Buffy kneeled in front of him.

"Hey you look like you really hurt yourself." Buffy tried starting conversation that consisted in more than two words. 

"Yea, really did a number on myself."  He chuckled, wincing again.

" I'm Buffy by the way." She introduced herself.

"What?" Spike asked confused, she was in no way in the buff, he would know, he would be hallucinating about her for weeks if she had been… he lost his track of thoughts.

"I'm Buffy, Buffy Summers." She smiled again staring up at him from under hooded eyelids. 

"Oh, you name." He sighed; she was still looking at him, 'OH SHIT!' Spike thought. 'Name she wants you name, puff.'

"I'm Will… Spike. Spike Smith." He smiled, at her face, she seemed to be thinking, and she looked adorable.

"Spike… interesting name." 

"And Buffy's so much better." 

"Hey Mister… My mother gave me the name." She pouted and looked him straight in his startling blue eyes. Spike instantly wanted to take the pink protruding pouting lip in-between his teeth.

"So your real name is Buffy?" Spike inquired. 

"No, it's a pet name, and I suppose Spike is yours."

"Well, no." throughout the entire conversation Spike never noticed the blonde removing gravel and dirt from his swollen hand, well not until now.

"OW!" Spike yanked his hand away like a child who had just been smacked. Holding it above his shoulder.

"You big baby. Give it back!" Buffy demanded. Reluctantly he lowered it into her awaiting her hand. Both noticed the tingles. Both ignored them.

"So you were saying…" Spike continued, trying to blot out the pain of splinters and such being removed from his sore hand.

"What's your real name?" she looked back up and smiled. 

"What's yours?" he answered back.

"Fine, I'll go first. Elizabeth." She looked back up from her work waiting from his response. 

"That's nice." He smirked and started to stare back into space. 

"Your name please Mr. Smith." 

"Already told you. Spike." He smirked once again, immediately regretting it when he felt her squeeze tight on his injured hand. 

"OW!" he shouted again.

"Bloody hell woman! Can't you see I'm hurt?" Buffy began to giggle quietly. "What you think it's funny hurting the innocent." 

"No! Just your more fragile than you look."

"Hey I'm not fragile!" Buffy pulled another long thorn from his hand. "OW!"  Ignoring his pleas Buffy pulled the last thorn she was able to get with her neat fingernails. 

"Do you live near here?" Buffy asked 

"Hey, look I really appreciate the help and all, but I'm kinda not looking for…" Spike stopped by Buffy's look. 

"I'm not hitting on ya. This is going to get infected if you don't wash and sterilise it. So I was offering to help you clean it up properly. Plus it was kinda my fault." She said standing tall and putting her hands on her tiny waist. 

"Oh well… hold on how is this you fault?" he asked kinda curious to how her mind track worked.

"Well, you see, if I hadn't have come to this part of the lakes while I was running, you would have never peeped on me." With a triumph smile and a shrug of her covered shoulders Buffy turned her back on Spike and began to walk to the dirt road. Spike was speechless for what he thought must have been the first time in his life, so without another word he followed the blonde haired vixen onto the dirt road and into the bushes, where he had got his injury. One that was becoming a blessing in disguise. 

***30 Minutes Later***

            Buffy looked up at the hotel, three United Kingdom flags were hanging above their heads, Spike by now was already stalking into the hotel and half way across the hotel lobby before Buffy even had time to register what was going on. She felt she wasn't clean enough to be entering the white lobby.

            Spike noticed Buffy wasn't behind him, so turning around he slowly walked towards the object that tugged his heartstrings with every glance. Using his good hand he placed her tiny one in the strong confinement of his. Looking up at him, sunlight pouring over her tiny frame he gently led her through the lobby and to the lift. 

            Buffy had froze outside, wondering what she was getting herself into. She knew if she went inside the hotel with her new mysterious friend, then whatever she did in there was her fault. Spike was everything she had secretly longed for back in California. What she had had in California was Riley, tall, dark, handsome, and ordinary. Then when that went belly-up she had had to go with Cordelia to meet Angel. His name chilled her bones, he was why she had packed her bags and left for England. She had no idea how long she would be here for, so even if she did have Spike who seemed to be fighting with his emotions just as much as she was, she couldn't afford to get all loved up. Sure he was sexy, and he'd make a great one-nightstand, but she felt too much already for him. 

            When he had touched her, Buffy had nearly jumped a mile. The electricity that flew from his hand through to hers was incredible, she knew he had felt it and almost in a trance she followed him through the lobby and into the lift, once in there he dropped her hand like it was on fire, but smiled politely.  

"So how's you hand feeling?" she asked trying to make a normal conversation.

            Spike was really finding it hard not to press the emergency stop button and jump Buffy's bones; he wanted to make her scream his name in ecstasy. He wanted to watch her squirm beneath him as he drove into her hot core. Mentally he slapped himself. She was a small woman, a fragile woman, and he had no right thinking his evil thoughts. Looking down at his hand he nodded and smirked.

"Hurts like a barstard." He muttered, Buffy only just hearing.

"Do you always swear?" she asked, not meaning to sound like a patronising woman, but managing to all the same. 

"Yep." Spike growled, his inner beast trying to get free, he wanted her so badly he could almost taste her, visualise all the things he would do to her, for her.  

"Oh," Her fingernails became very interesting all of a sudden. The lift doors opened after several seconds of agonising silence. Following like a lamb, Buffy walked with Spike. As his door swung open Buffy noticed nothing that made him seem to have been here long, a small duffle bag sitting on a chair, the bed not made and a pair of boxers discarded near the bed.

            Sitting down Spike sighed; maybe he shouldn't have brought her here. Perhaps his body was just begging him to have her just once. He didn't notice her walk into the toilet, until he heard rummaging and something being knocked down. Slowly he laid on the bed draping his arm over his eyes, trying to blot out the images of her upon him.

            Buffy found what she was looking for; the first aid box was where it always was, in the bathroom in the cabinet above the sink. Walking back into the main room, Buffy noticed Spike lying on his injured head, nothing protecting it.

"Sit up Spike." She called as normally as she could, when he didn't seem to move she sat behind him, lifting his arm ever so gently, 

"What?" he yawned.

"Sit up please." She smiled from above him, looking like an angel. Slowly he shifted into a sitting position, and she cleaned the wound, once she finished with that one she began to clean his hand.

***45 minutes later***

"Thanks Buffy." Spike smiled; know she had to leave before he ravished her for being the sweet soul that she was. 

"No worries." She hadn't smiled so many times than around Spike. He made her laugh, he made her happy and made her feel needed and wanted. But he was yet to confirm that he did want her, he hadn't made a move on her all morning. In fact he hadn't said a thing concerning anything to do with them as an item. 

"Spike I…" she couldn't ask him, it wasn't ladylike, and the English were all for ladylike. 'Anyway what happened to the can't let this become anything Buffy.' Buffy thought. 

"Right well, I'll see you around, right." He smiled begging her with his eyes to ask for his number, or for a drink, but she didn't seem interested. Giving up he said goodbye, she turned and walked down the corridor that led to the lift, which would lead to the lobby, where she would call for a taxi. She didn't feel like running, or walking, especially now the sun was up. In the lift she sighed audible, that was Spike, back in that room back there. Spike the man that if she had met three years ago could have saved her.

            Unknown to Buffy, Spike was thinking the same thing. 


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter 4 

          Buffy lay with her head dug into her pillow, he had gotten to her, she knew she shouldn't have walked with him, he was so… she sunk her head in further, the softness coating her tear stained face. She had gotten to the lobby and waited five minutes before phoning for a taxi, then she had told the cab to pick her up in ten minutes, all she had wanted was for Spike to take her upstairs and ravish her, or talk whatever. But in the twenty minutes she had ended up waiting downstairs for the platinum haired stunner, he hadn't once left his room, or came downstairs to check on her. 

          Then she had come back here. Quietly walked to her bedroom, and sulked, big style. She was finding it hard to let air into her lungs now that she was so far into her pillow. Turning over she let in a deep breath letting it out slowly. Ungraciously she rolled off the double bed her feet plonking on the floor with a good thump. Casually she strolled to the bathroom, knocking before entering. She turned on the shower, locked the door, stripped of all clothes and looked into the mirror. There she saw Buffy, a lost soul, trying to find home.

          Eventually she stepped into the warm spray of the shower, droplets of glistening liquid falling down her naked tanned form. Her hands hung by her stomach. She felt her small long fingers knead the flesh. Closing her eyes she let the water wash away her thoughts and insecurities. In her minds ears she could hear a favourite song playing in the back of her head, as Chris Martins voice trickled down her spine as Coldplay sung in perfect harmony "God put a smile upon your face" her fingers felt small prickles of hair under their tips, making electricity course though them and throughout her body spurring on their mischief.

          As her small tanned fingers slipped though her pale lips she audible sighed. It had been so long since she had had a good orgasm and although Giles bathroom wasn't really the place to be bringing herself off, she wasn't going to stop. Especially when Spikes face seemed to shine bright in her minds eye. She gazed over his features as her fingers began to rub the small nub of nerves that was aching for someone's touch. Slowly she drew lazy circles with her free hand on her thigh as her fingers on her busy hand flexed for her joy, she could feel the warmth filling her, and although she didn't want to stop her ministrations she needed to fill something fill her. Slowly she drew her fingers away from her throbbing clit, juices flowing around it, and pushed them firmly into her watery hole, gasping as they hit her sensitive spot, picking up the pace she began to play carefully with it making her body tremble as she supported herself with the tiles behind her. 

          As her second hand began massaging her nub of nerves once again she came. And she came hard, having to cover her own mouth with juice-ridden fingers, her fantasy Spike smirked at her like when she first met him. She felt the tiny jolts of electricity tremble their way around her body as the fingers inside her rode out the numbing orgasm, and when the last relaxing tremble past through her body she saw the picture of Spike slowly fade away as reality suddenly came back to her. Buffy sank to the base of the shower crying, she felt wrong to fuel her sexual release with Spike images, as her inner walls rested she finally pulled her two fingers out, then she sat letting the warm water hit her face and run down her exposed body. Her mind itching with thoughts that had been temporally moved aside for the first time since they formed there.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

          Cordelia was looking at Buffy as if she had just lost a leg or something. 

"Cordy, I miss him honestly." Buffy sniffed for about the hundredth time in the last thirty mins. 

"No, Buffy, you miss the regularity. The easy life, not him, you never loved him."  Buffy's eyes shot open and stared at her best friend.

"I did love him Cordy. An… I know it was more of… him loving me, but in my own stupid way I did love him." And she had, loved Riley, but he had left and although she was still crying, she was over it now. She had loved him but didn't any more. 

"Aright! You loved him, but he's been gone for month. Don't you think you should jump on the new horse and cart? You know lets go clubbing, or I could… no don't worry." She turned her head ever so slightly making Buffy really want to know. Actress was calling Cordelia as she tempted her friend eve more by looking down at her fingernails examining them closely.

"What Cordy, don't hold out." She smiled and pulled her best impression of a sad puppy dog making Cordelia laugh.

"Well you know Angel owns that club… well he offered me a job… but…" she looked away again. "First I have to hire someone."

"But I was kinda thinking, now Riley's gone, I might move back in with mom, and go back to being an apprentice" she paused for a moment, " maybe they'll let me continue from where I left off." She let a weak smile crawl out but Cordelia seemed to miss it.

"Buffy, they won't. You know it and so do I. Look I can get you a job, where you could pay for this place no problem, and you could have all the things you want as well. Come on at least try it for me." At Buffy's look Cordelia fluttered her eyelids and pouted. "Please?" 

"Ok, I'll give it a go, but I'm not gonna stick around if I don't like it." 

"Oh Buffy you're the best!" with that Cordelia latched on to her best friend hugging all the breath from her. The conversation went back to Riley and Buffy being the best friend anyone could ask for, only Buffy had never been sure of Angel and wasn't convinced she was going to like this job.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Finally Buffy washed herself, her hair and conditioned. Once out she headed straight for her bedroom where she moisturised, and toned. Slipping on a pair of jeans and a new jumper she went downstairs. Cordelia hadn't lied the club did pay well, and it did mean she could have what she wanted, but it didn't mean she didn't feel degraded by it. 

As she entered the kitchen she smelt lunch. It was twelve and Giles had taken the day off. As the pasta simmered in the pan Giles was washing some plates. 

"Hey there!" Buffy greeted her almost father. After a light chit chat and a light lunch Giles suggested Buffy phoned old friends.

"You need some company, you know I don't expect you to stay here for Olivia and myself sakes. Phone Willow she misses you." That was all Buffy needed to hear before she kissed Giles lightly on the cheek and made her way to the phone in the sitting room. 

****

          Spike was waiting on Xander, he was supposed to have phoned by now, let him know how the flat was coming along, and yet he hadn't heard a thing, which was making him think of Buffy and her long golden locks, cascading down her bare skin. Once again he shook his head trying to force the image that was tightening his jeans. She hadn't come back, she knew where he was and she hadn't come back. Anyway. He didn't want another bird, hanging around his neck, choking him of all reality, he had his right hand and that was all the company he needed… and he had used it a couple of times since she left. Whilst with Drusilla he had never wanked off, never needed or particularly wanted to. This chit was driving him insane! He thought to himself, staring at the hotel room, once again he felt the urge for alcohol to engulf his body and wipe all thoughts of 'Buffy' and her adorable ways, like how she wrinkled her nose at any crude comment, and how her eyes went wide when he had accidentally (on purpose) brushed past her rear as she had bent over to clean up the first aid kit. He was falling for a chick he had only met this morning, and he needed it to stop.

          Just as he reached the mini-bar the phone rang, half thankful to the person on the other end for stopping his drinking before it begun. Half wanted to throttle them for not allowing him to blot out all things Buffy.

"Hello?" Spike picked up the receiver, speaking through gritted teeth.

"Spike!" the chirpy voice came through the line.

"Xander… is it ready?"  Spike growled

"All in good time my friend…" when Xander only heard breath coming through the line he continued

"Look it will be ready by tonight. Promise, so seeing as we had such a good time last night, how bout' you come out with me, let me show you all the places to be…" 

"You think I'm gonna take your advice whelp?" Spike was nearly laughing out loud, and had no idea why he was holding it back, but he was. 

"Oh come on Spike, it will be a laugh." Xander was despite.

"Yea, It'll be a ball, but you're alright, rather spend time in my room." Spike really wasn't another night with the lightweight, besides all he spoke about was his misses. 

Apparently the whelp was the luckiest guy in the world, he had stood this Anya up at the alter, then when things got ruff, he had nearly lost her, she had been attacked by a group of guys in a derelict building, and she somehow escaped, since that moment he was called to her hospital bed Xander had devoted his life to her, she made a full recovery and was now the one and only, Mrs Xander Harris.

"Oh well, suppose I won't be able to get the keys to you till the morning."

"Are you blackmailing?"

"Would I be dead if I was…?" the tremor that was evident in Xanders voice made Spike chuckle. And it felt good.

"Give me a time and a place, I'll be there…" 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Willow, hold on I can't understand you." Buffy said as she dug into the ice cream Giles had handed her, she had been on the phone for half an hour to a very excite Willow, who apparently had big news…

"Buffy you'll never guess so much had happened since you were last here…" 

"See Willow, breathing's a good thing, now inform me on all the gossipy goodness!" Buffy balanced the bowl precariously on her knees, which were tucked under her firm behind. She had the receiver stuck between her ear and he shoulder, and as she heard her friend intake deep breath she put the silver spoon piled with chocolate chip ice cream into her glossed lips.

"Well I've nearly finished my second year at university now, it's great we hang out at this new club that has all this branched over near you… in America like, and there was this really cute guy in my year and he kept asking me out, but well…I turned him down." She paused.

"Continue… I wanna know more about this cute boy!" Buffy was very interested now.

"I should really tell you in person, are you at Giles?"

"Yes is something wrong?

"I'll be round to get ready… we're going out tonight, you have no choice but to come, missy!" with that the line went dead, Buffy shrugged and went to find Giles. 

"Giles! Giles!" she shouted until she found him in his study.

"What you doing?" she asked in a childish singsong manner. 

"Working." He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. Placing them back on their rightful place, he looked at his friends beautiful daughter.

"Nice chat with Willow?" his eyes never leaving her.

"Yes, she's coming round in a bit… umm if you don't mind, not that I had much of a choice, she kinda invited herself round, she needed to talk to me…" she smiled at her father figure as he stared, he often zoned out. And not in some creepy way like she had seen in the club, he just watched her, to protect her, to let her know she was loved all over the world, wherever he was, she knew she was always welcome. She walked towards him and kissed his forehead. 

"Thanks Giles, for everything."

"For you Buffy, it's no chore."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Willow arrived about half an hour later with a duffle bag, filled with clothes and make-up, the minute she entered and received a hug she felt Buffy had never been gone. 

Once settled in Buffy's bedroom they started with small talk, Willow desperate to avoid the subject of which she had to tell Buffy. Although she knew she would understand. 

"Willow you've been here twenty minutes now… tell me." Buffy smiled to ease Willow into the conversation she seemed not to talk about. 

"Ok, right." She let out a breath and looked straight into Buffy's eyes.

"I'm umm well, umm you remember Oz." Buffy's face fell, Willows one and only love. She hadn't been around when he had left, but she knew all the sordid details. She took Willows hand to urge her on.

"Well, Buffy, you know when he left it kinda hurt, still does…" Her eyes filled with unshed tears but she blinked them back as she reminded herself of what she had now. 

"Well I've met someone at Uni. Um well your meet her tonight." 

"That's great Wills, hold on…" Buffy's eyes seemed to search her brain as she went over what Willow just said.

"Yea, I know it's a shock, but I didn't know, until I met Tara, she's amazing, and bright. She seems to make everything I do worth all the effort." Buffy watched her best friends face. She had a far away dreamy look in her eyes, similar to the one she saw Cordelia get whenever she had spoke of Angel, near the end of their relationship. A small smile hand swept gracefully across Willows pale features. 

"I'm a lesbian Buff. And I'm proud to. If it weren't for Tara I'd still be unhappy." 

"Oh Wills!" Buffy shouted as she hugged her friend close. " I'm so happy for you, I can't wait to meet her if this is her effect… so you think she has any friends?" she nudged her friend and winked causing them to burst into laughter, and Willow was relieved, Buffy truly was a friend, and would always remain one. 

"So come on spill, what's she like?" 

"Well, Me and Tara had just got together, Oz had been gone for about a month and we were kinda close, without actually consummating our relationship." Buffy laughed as her friend blushed.

"Gonna have to tell me about how you do that. Always wondered."

"Buffy!" Willow giggled.

"Carry on."

"Well he came back. And when he kissed me, it had gone. I knew then that I loved Tara, and although I'll always love him, Tara makes me feel special. She really does." Again the dreamy smile had been reapplied to Willows face.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Spike was in this new club, apparently it was nothing like normal pubs, or so Xander had said. But he didn't care, his mind was made up, one drink, get keys and shoot. He wasn't up for socialising. As he reached the bar he ordered a drink and searched the club with his eyes for the whelp and his wife. He hadn't seen anyone approach him, he hadn't seen the hand wander towards him, so the tap on the shoulder shocked him, and as he rose his fists Xander flinched away.

"Hey Spike, it's me. Chill!" Xander hugged a pretty blonde close to him. The drink arrived and they all sat, facing the door. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Buffy had met Tara now, and she was really nice, she was a mousy type of girl, which was all Buffy could think to describe her. Shy, quiet, smiling. As they entered the club Buffy recognised a shining head of platinum hair. Her stomach flipped and she looked desperately for whom he was with. He seemed to be all alone; she felt the hug before she registered the muscular arms around her tiny frame. 

"Buffster! Long time no see!" 

"Hey Xander!" she joined him in the hug, next hugging his wife of nearly a year. 

"Now remember Buffy… he's my orgasm machine, so no ideas!" Buffy laughed, 

"Wouldn't dream of it Anya. Nice to see you." she smiled and whispered,

"Don't mind if you dream, but your not having him. Nice to see you too." Anya let go and smiled. Buffy knew she meant no harm, she was just blunt and obsessed with one of her best friends, but she knew Xander would have it no other way.

"Now come meet the new addition to the Scooby gang." Xander began to pull Buffy in Spikes grinning direction.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five 

          Spike stared absently past the group that had formed by the front door, not wanting to look at anyone. About ten minutes ago Xander had excused himself as he recognised somebody. Anya had sat in silence; her tanned legs crossed as the unequal layers of her skirt fell dancing around her calves. Unconsciously he licked his dry lower lip, not seeing legs like hers for a while. He meant nothing by the sly movement of his wet muscle usually hidden in his mouth, but Anya noticed and decided to let him know her thoughts on the matter.

"Look Spike, I don't know you, and as much as you're a very good looking, sexy male individual. I am married, to your landlord, Xander. And so I have not only vowed to only let him give me orgasms but I intend to stick to my promise." She looked at him closely as he open and closed his moth trying to get some sort of comprehendible sentence to form, but failing miserably. Never leaving his glaze she lifted her perfect eyebrows.

"You have lovely eyes, very blue… and one day your find someone who too can give you mind numbing orgasms but until then remember… I'm Xanders." And with she was off; dainty feet carrying perfectly formed legs across to her husband. Spike sighed downing his whiskey whole, enjoying the burn on the liquors journey to his stomach. Sparking up another cigarette Spike contemplated his life; he glanced at Xander's wife, the problem was that Spike didn't even think of Anya in any other way than a pretty face. And he wouldn't give her a second thought tonight. Not like he had about a certain little blonde. He stared into the distance, consciously not looking at the scary blunt women, who seemed like she could rip out a mans rib cage and beat him to death with the bones just for hurting or offending her. 

          He watched two girls move like only straight girls wanting to look gay could, grinding up and down each other suggestively, wanting guys to look, stare and ask them for a threesome, or to watch, so they could laugh at them, he'd seen his mates fall for it so many times, but he always seemed to have his head on his shoulders. Then he heard the whelp laugh and grinned widely, he'd be one of those lads to fall for a bird as she wound her tight body up and down another girl. The two girls visibly changed in front of his eyes, and soon it was Buffy grinding against another faceless yet well-toned brunette.  He wanted to turn away, wanted to stop fantasizing over a girl he would never see again, stop watching the two performing clowns in front of him, but he couldn't turn his eyes away. For a moment he felt the stupid git he was, for not dropping his pride and just asking her out, he could be here now with a gorgeous blonde, instead of the whelp and his freaky wife. His smile was disappearing fast, and as he finally tore his blue depths away he was greeted with another vision of Buffy this time standing next to a redhead and Xander.

"Oh bloody hell!" Spike shouted out, why was his mind doing this to him, was everyone in the room going to turn into his fantasy until he had such a hard-on the it would poke them all. But then he watched her beautiful face fall and saw the tremor in her lower lip, obvious to him she sniffed and smiled ignoring his outburst and turning to the redhead.

"Willow fancy using the ladies?" she asked almost sending a message secretly through her eyes. Willow nodded, excuse us were made and off they went.

"Spike did you have to be so mean?" Anya asked.

"Bollocks!" with that Spike got up and went to the bar.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Buffy watched Spike as she approached him; he was staring over her shoulder at two tramps dancing like $2 whores. Xander had slowly approached the awaiting platinum haired man, and with every step closer Buffy's heart fluttered.

"Guys this is Spike, Spike, Spike?" he soon enough turned his head and immediately faced Buffy. 

"Glad I have your attention, buddy. This is Buffy and Willow." He said as he smiled obviously glad he had a new person to meet the old friends.

"Hi…" Buffy had begun.

"Oh bloody hell!" Spike shook his head and placed his sharp face into his hands.

          Buffy felt all her hopes and dreams of the past 14 hours dissolve visibly in front of her eyes, it seemed to run in slow motion as he still shook his head, Xander stood with his mouth a gasp, Anya tending to an imaginable piece of lint on her puffed out skirt, Willow staring at the ignorance of the shaking bleached head, Buffy to choked to say anything, as his head popped back up, he stared again, which was when Buffy smiled doing what she did best, putting on a front and asking Willow to join her in a trip to the bathroom. Of course her best friend agreed and made her apologetic smile to Xander and his wife, before following a laughing Buffy to the ladies. 

          Once inside Buffy immediately broke off all false pretence that she may have been giving off.

"Gee, what a dick!" Willow said as she saw her best female friends' smile fall away as suddenly as it had come. 

"Yea." Buffy answered leaning on the white sink staring in the smudged mirror.

"Buffy?" Willow inched forward slightly.

"Umm." Buffy sounded as she rubbed her tired eyes. 

"I came clean with you, wanna repay the favour?" by now she was behind her only American friend.

"There's nothing to tell." She sighed.

"Liar."

"Really Wills, there's…" she sighed, "I met him this morning, I was out on a run. He was walking. He hurt himself. I helped him out. There was some kind of weird tense kinda feeling. And I went back to his hotel…"

"Buffy tell me you didn't sleep with him!" Willow shouted, the other girls in the toilet looking at the blushing blonde accusing her of all sorts without saying a thing.

"GOD NO!" Buffy shouted out, her American accent filling the toilet.

"Oh." Willow countered.

"No I cleaned up his hand, and the back of his head, then I left, well no. I waited in the lobby hoping he would come looking for me. Then twenty odd minutes later the cab showed up. So I left. Just kind of felt something." She looked up at her best friend.

"Stupid huh, what with all the trouble with Riley, and that business with…" 

"Angel." They both shuddered. 

"I shouldn't want another guy, yet I can't get him out of my head Will." She shook it as if to illustrate her point. 

"Just cuz' American blokes are arses, don't mean that he's a bad one, maybe, you just need to work off some frustrations." She winked and both girls giggled. 

"Nah tried that…" at Willows look she added quietly "by myself!" 

          A knowing smile crossed Willows features, as Buffy blushed once again.

"You heard him when he saw me Willow, he hates me…"

"No he doesn't" 

"Oh bloody hell!" Buffy imitated in her best English accent.

"Oi you, we bloody well don't sound like that." Willow joked putting a London accent on.

          After another fit of giggles, Willow smiled.

"Lets go show him what he's missing… no more bad imitations either, or your have him running a mile in no time." They giggled again and made their exit.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Spike had drunk three whiskeys in the space of ten minutes and was half way through his fourth as he noticed the girl of his dreams (literally) finally emerge from the toilets. He pushed his glass away as he looked at Anya who nodded, as he stood up and began to walk towards Buffy.

He reached her about half way from the toilets to their table. He stood in front of her and stared. Willow giggled a little and nudged Buffy with her backside to the beat of the music. Buffy very nearly broke eye contact with Spike, but the blue eyes called her to stay staring into them.

"Buff I'm getting a drink, k?" Willow asked knowing they needed some peace. 

"Uh huh." Buffy nodded, still staring into the midnight confined in Spikes eyes.

          Once Willow had made her hasty exit, Buffy blinked, disintegrating the chemistry that had been knitting itself together. Spike smiled a little not knowing what to say, how to apologise without admitting the feelings that he had, and the reason for his outburst. The second flutter of her eyelids made Spike what to shiver, her usual (For what he considered her usual) green soft pools, seemed to have changed to hazel hardness. He took a small step backwards as if to stay balanced. 

"What?" Buffy asked staring through him; he was yet to enunciate the conversation so she took it into her own hands, such to speak.

          Spike was taken back from the harshness in her voice.

"Umm, thought I'd say thanks like, you know for this morning and all." He answered his cockiness coming up trumps.

"Welcome, anything else?" she looked at him, but avoided his eyes, and when she caught them she bowed her head away, in that brief second, Spike read them realising it was all a front.

"You changed." He said as if they had been friends for years.

"Yea well, didn't think jogging attire was right for this place." She kept her lips straight, not allowing a smile at her quick response.

          That was the first time in the night when Spike actually looked at her. She had long straight hair loosely hanging on and over her shoulders, her bare arms revealed, he took in the light blonde hairs that graced her tanned arms, envied them for being allowed so close. The dress was gorgeous, a beaded number, which although was see-though, had a peach slip underneath, he remembered seeing it in a shop window and thinking it was nice, but on her the low flowered v-neck dress was exquisite. He blinked allowing his slow intake of her body, he began to move his sight lower towards her tanned legs, nothing in comparison to the ones he had regretted looking at on the whelps wife, Buffy's where perfect, he delicate feet encased in tiny strapped heels. 

"Finished yet?" Buffy asked.

"What?" Spike asked again shocked at the venom that seemed to be coming from the innocent beauties mouth.

"Had your look?" 

"Buffy, I came to apologise, I've had too much to drink, I didn't even notice it was you till I looked at you the second time."

"Right, okay Spike. I seem to remember you looking straight into my eyes before you swore, embarrass me in front of my friends. So if you don't mind I'd like to get back them."

          Spike laughed a little as she swayed away from him. He was an official arsehole. Not only had he embarrassed her, he looked at her like a piece of meat. Making his way back to the bar Spike ordered a bottle of whiskey, tonight was gonna be a long one. 

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

          Two hours later and Spike was well and truly sloshed. He had way too much alcohol in his body. Buffy was sitting with her legs crossed as she squeezed another sensation away as he stared at her, his knee ever so slightly grazing hers. The ruff edge of denim on her soft moisturised skin nearly made her jump up from her conversation with Xander. She watched out the corner of her eye as Spike downed another slug of whiskey from the now nearly empty bottle. She looked at her male friend and eyed Spike up, trying to get Xander to notice that he had past his limit. Soon enough he noticed, nodding his head at her.

"Come on Spike… Home time mate." Spike laughed.

"What do you know? Gimme my keys gimp… I'll go home when I'm good and ready!" slurred words where hard to determine, but they all got the gist. Xander handed the keys to Spike and smiled at the drunken mess, who was refilling his glass.

"Xander honey?" Anya asked.

"Can we go home, I really want oral sex tonight, and you promised you'd wear…" Anya mouth was covered by Xander's hand. He laughed a bit then blushed, until he heard Spike laughing like he never heard him laugh before.

"Got a bit of a tongue on her Xand!" he laughed again.

          Everyone stared at Spike as he giggled uncontrollably. Slapping his thigh he stood up, putting yet another cigarette to his lips he smirked.

"See you around!" with a quick flick his face was illuminated by the flame of his lighter. With his fag alight he drank the last dribble from the whiskey bottle and walked slowly through the dieing crowd. Buffy breathed a sigh, she didn't know what kind of relief it was, but a huge weight had been lifted as she saw him walk into the night. Which was soon replaced by longing. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

          Spike got into an awaiting taxi, and got dropped of at home. His new home, as he turned the key in the lock the door opened. He breathed in fresh air as looked around what over twenty-four hours ago was a living hellhole, now it was cryptic. The walls where a shade of grey and black, with the occasional cream, the floor was stripped of carpet and was now a dark wood. The furniture that had been kept had been wood stained into a deep mahogany. He fell on the bed feeling the fresh sturdy mattress underneath his weight. He would explore further tomorrow, sitting up he kicked off his boots, then his jeans, soon enough he was naked as he slipped underneath the cool sheets freshly brought for him. He felt someone press up next to him as he began to dose, slightly startled by the warm small body he slowly open his eyes; he caught the sight of golden strands. Not wanting to lose the dream, he squeezed them shut. A warm hand began to stroke up and down his torso. Feeling his every being. He felt the hand move to his thighs, making small circles towards his genitals. His breath hitched up a notch. 

The knock at the door woke him from his erotic dream, obvious by the tent he was making. Grabbing his boxers he walked to the door.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

          The party seemed to die the second Spike left, time was called and everyone was asked to leave. Xander, who hadn't drunk, offer the old friends a lift. Anya got dropped off first at their house, as she needed to get everything ready for 'later'. Next Willow got dropped off. She promised to get a day off college so they could go shopping, and Buffy promised to meet Tara. Soon it was just Buffy and Xander in the car.

"I missed you Buffy." Xander finally spoke after two minutes of silence.

"I missed you too Xander." They both looked at each other and smiled. 

"I'm so happy for you and Anya, your good together… give me hope…" She smiled weakly as her heart begged to be poured onto Xander's listening ears.

"You don't need hope Buff, one day your be snapped up from all of us, and until we're all gonna be there for you." His hand moved from the gears to take her hand. 

"Glad you're sure of me." She said with a small laugh.

"I'm not sure, I'm positive." He squeezed her hand just a little.

"Xander?" 

"Buffy?"

"Well, I'm not. Sure of me. Kinda doubt me." She felt the car drift to the left. Soon they were in a service station with coffee in front of them. 

"Spill." Xander ordered, his voice soft along with his deep eyes.

"Why couldn't I have fallen for you?" she asked.

"Because I wasn't the right guy for you." Xander said matter of factly.

"Oh Xand! My life's such a mess. I thought that Riley was mister right, mister normal guy. After Parker, I mean… I just thought it was good. But I wasn't right for him."

"HEY!" Xander raised his voice, "Riley was an arse. I told you that the day you e-mailed me saying that you were a waitress because Riley wanted you to earn money now not later. Buffy if he was mister right then he would have loved you and waited for you, he would have wanted you to be you… not Miss efficient." 

"Yea, he left me because I was nothing but unordinary. Nobody wants me, I know I sound depressing, but honestly things have got worst. I mean, when Riley left I should have gone back to how I was, I was all right… you know. Now…now…" quiet sobs encased Buffy's body, and as she shook Xander took her hand.

"Look missy… it's not your fault, your were stuck between a rock and a hard place. You had no money and were down in the dump. So when Cordelia asked you to have you body looked at and worshiped by men, it probably seemed like an easy pick me up. Cause Buffy you gorgeous, and if you don't find someone who will tell you that every day. Then I'll jut have to keep reminding you." 

Buffy searched her best friends eyes, never before had she ever had any such words spoken to her. She heard them in girly films, by boyfriends to their girlfriends, but never directed at her, her eyes glazed over with fresh tears that she sniffed back.

"She's a lucky women." Xander looked lost. 

"Anya, to have you, she's so lucky." Buffy tried again. Xander just smiled and brought her hand to his lips as he kissed it ever so lightly.

"No I'm lucky to have her." With that he stood up and got two more coffees and a couple of chocolate bars. Once back he started again.

"What did he do to you Buff?" 

          She sipped on her coffee contemplating for a moment.

"Who?" she asked, trying not to think of him.

"Angel, Buffy please don't hide from me again." She avoided his eyes this time because they told so much. They made her want to release things that shouldn't be.

"Buffy look at me."

"No." 

"Please." God damit he knew where to get her, over e-mail she could ignore the odd questions. But know she couldn't she had to confront them. Slowly like a little five year old in deep trouble for drawing over the wall, Buffy confronted the beautiful brown depths. She blinked a few times watering her eyes.

"He… I… umm." Buffy sighed. She had to do this, as much as she hated the idea of telling Xander, because she didn't know how he'd react, she had to get everything of her chest. She had only every feed Willow little bits, through the Internet, never actually told her the full story. He pulled her hand into his and held it tight, as if giving her his strength as well.

"The club wasn't what I thought it was. I walked in for my first day to find a girl swirling around a pole, I thought it was a bar, you know kinda normal. Not a strip joint. Cordelia had me working behind the bar, for the first week, I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I didn't say anything to Cordy."

"She said Angel wanted to see me, so I went into the office on my second week. And he said, that I was talent. He said I was better than a bar worker, I had…" 

She paused and received a squeeze on the hand. 

"I had the qualities. He asked me how much I was on… I told him, and he laughed."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

          Buffy stared into the deepest brown eyes she had ever looked into; she had a thing for eyes. Always had.

"Buffy that's peanuts to what I could have you on…" he waggled his eyebrows causing her to shiver, the thought of more money excited her, but then again if she was honest he excited her, but Liam Angellus was Cordy's boyfriend. And a big time bad boy, but Cordelia said he had his sweet points. When she didn't answer he stood up from his desk and made it to her side.

"Dance for me." He said, as the music from the front boomed through the closed locked door.

"W…W…What?" Buffy stuttered

"Dance… For… Me." Angel said slowly.

"I don't dance, can't" She giggled nervously. 

"Dance." He sat on his desk as he pulled her from her chair, using one leg he pushed it away, with the other he nudged Buffy. Slowly she began to dance, not wanting to know the other options. The music took over her, and soon she knew herself she was more exotic than half of the dancers on show put together. Her hands slid down her torso until the reached her thighs where they laid still waiting a beat until she lifted them back sliding over her breasts slightly rubbing them. Before she knew it she was pinned up against the locked wooden door. Her lips were being crushed by his. Hormones pumped through her body, the feeling of loneliness flooded her until she felt she was downing, and as Angels hands started to wander she circled her hips every so slightly satisfied when she heard him moan. Again she circled into his groin happy to hear a moan and feel an erection. 

"Buffy, I need you." He mumbled into her as he lifted her onto his desk.

"But…Angel…Angel what about Cordelia?" She asked as he still kissed her. Stopping, he looked into her eyes. Leaving her lying exposed on his desk he stood straight.

"I'll finish it now, she'll understand how I wanna fuck her best friend into ground… maybe she could join in?" 

"You can't do that!" Buffy shouted, although no one would hear, what with the music blearing outside.

"Buffy I really like Cordy, but you've always been the one I've wanted, watching from afar. Buffy your special, and I couldn't just ask you to be with me, because you're loyal to you friends and family. That's one of you best qualities, makes you special. But I'm not capable of breaking her heart, and ruining you friendship… so I want you, but if you let me have you we'll have to keep it a secret. For Cordelia's sake, she is special to us both." 

          Off her look he continued.

"Buffy we could be great, in time. You, and me, owners of everything, including each other's hearts Buff. Come on baby…"

He picked her off the table and swooped down to kiss her. They merged together, as one and without thinking she parted her legs and had her first ever orgasm. Wave after wave rolled through her body as he licked here flower. Her mom had always called it her flower.

*-*-*-*-*-*

          Xander continued to hold Buffy's hand never once dropping it in shock although deep down he was. He couldn't believe she would hurt her friend, but from the sounds of things Buffy was sweet talked, piecrust promises were made.

"Xander I'm a dirty." Tears ran down her face. "So dirty."

"No darling your not. You had a fling, most people do. It don't make you dirty."

"Xander you don't understand, it went on for a year, him popping into mine, me popping onto his office. After two weeks he convinced me to be a lap dancer, and I did, because he made me feel great, made me feel wonderful." She smiled at the thought of his dashing good looks and his deep voice. 

"So I had money, a so-called boyfriend and his girlfriend was my best mate. She wondered why I got promotions so fast but kept herself to herself. Well what neither of us knew was that he was a pimp. And a big one! Two weeks ago he asked me to become more than his employee, more than his girlfriend, but become his income."

          Xander looked lost.

"He wanted me to be a whore. To sell myself for him, and do you know what's worst… I considered. Me, Buffy Summers considered being a prostitute." she was whispering by the end of her sentence. 

"Did you?" he asked, generally concerned for his best friend 

She nodded her head, and then looked at him.

"I got to the place, where I was meant to see this man. When he took me inside I felt ill so I left. Without fulfilling his needs. Angel got mad and hit me, told me I was stupid. Which I was, for ever getting involved. So later I told Cordelia, told her everything, and she went mad. She up and left for LA, don't blame her. I would, so a few days later I went into work to collect my things, and Angel said Cordelia left a message on his phone, telling him that I had been truthful." She paused.

"He said if I show my face again, he'll kill me, but not before I watch all the people I love die first. So I came here, and do you know what's stupid?"

          Xander shook his head, while Buffy laughed. 

"I keep thinking, 'oh I wonder if I will still have a job when I get back.' But why do I wanna go back, go back to sitting on old dirty men's laps, feeling them grow beneath me. So now you know why I'm dirty. I'm a whore Xander." Then she cried, like she never had before, all the dams holding the tears back broke, and for nearly fifteen minutes she didn't stop crying. 


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

          Buffy began to gently shake as she felt her tears begin to cease. The whole time Xander didn't say much, just told her she had done the right thing to come here, and that she wasn't a whore. She was a decent person, who for a moment had been lost. But she was back now; she had been found, by people who loved her. 

Then his phone rang; he listened to Anya say that she was worried, since he hadn't come home for over an hour. He explained he was with Buffy catching up, and Anya reluctantly told him to take his time. She knew Buffy held a place in his heart; she knew that he loved Buffy like he could never her. But in a different way to how her grip on his heart laid, Buffy held his heart like a sister, or mother would. 

Before Anya had shown her interest in the construction worker, he had loved Buffy, he had wanted to make her happy, but there was no way it would have ever worked. They were to close, and even now, as he sat in some service station, she knew no matter how lonely Buffy got, or how upset, Xander would never make love to her, he wouldn't be able to. Anya didn't know why he couldn't… or should that be wouldn't she thought to herself. 

Buffy sobs had stopped completely. She looked at Xander's face, noticing the open pores on his nose, his stubble, trying to grow under his chin. She felt an urge to tell him more about her hidden life, and almost as if reading her mind Xander opened his mouth to talk.

"So, you gonna tell me about you and Spike? There was a lot of tension between you two."  He smiled to soften his words.

"I met earlier this morning, I went for a run and he went for a walk. He fell and hurt himself, so I went back and cleaned him up. Not much more to tell really." 

"So do you recon he'll be a good tenant?" the secret meaning beneath his words didn't go unnoticed by Buffy, he wasn't asking her approval, he wanted to know if Buffy felt anything for him, and depending on how she answered his question, he would know.

"Yea, he should be ok. I mean there's no way I'd really know, but he seems a nice enough man."

"Yea seems alright." Xander took a sip of his now freezing coffee, pulling a face as he spat it back into the polystyrene cup. Buffy exploded with laughter and Xander raised his hands up…

"What? You think me drinking coffees funny?" as her laughter increased Xander put his coat on. 

"Come on giggle goat. Lets get you home to bed." Buffy put her coat on, her laughter dying slowly. Once they were back in the comfy warm confinements of Xander's car, they both chatted about nothing. Xander not wanting Buffy to think that he felt anything less for her from her from her revelations. Once back at the Giles, Xander handed Buffy a ripped piece of paper. Before she opened it he looked at her.

"Buffy I want you happy, we all do, and I think you and Spike, you could be good together…" Buffy opened her mouth to interject. He held his finger to his lips in a sign to be quiet.

"…That's his address and number, and if I know Spike the nights still young, think about ringing him." He kissed her cheek before giving her a slight nudge.

"Now get out, you heard Anya, I have obligations I'm to be held to, and your holding them up." With that they both laughed, all tears forgotten about. She got out and before closing the door looked once more into her best friends eyes.

"Thanks Xander, you the best." With that she left him, walking to the front door.

Once inside she heard Xander pull away. Looking at her place of dwelling, she noticed all lights turned out, and soft snoring sounds coming from upstairs, walking to the kitchen Buffy saw the note on the refrigerator, telling her the couple sleeping upstairs had called in for an early night. Opening the door she felt the cool air greet her, she slipped her had in and pulled out the carton of orange juice, after pouring herself a glass, she made her way to the sitting room where finally she opened the torn piece of paper. Scribbled in Xander's handwriting in bold letters stood:

**Spike-01604 557558**

**28D the Bunk**

**Northants.**

**Ring him!**

**Xxx**

Buffy blushed, Xander the matchmaker! Usually, he hated her with other guys, he was protective, scared they would hurt her. Every time she came over to England, she had some male try and latch on, but he would scare them away. That was until he got married. 

          She remembered the telephone call like it was yesterday. Xander was on the other end sounding tense as he invited her to the wedding, but she couldn't make it. She had tried to move heaven and earth to get over to England, but Riley wouldn't let her, she might lose her job if she up and left. Then they would have no income and no home. But on the day of the wedding, she had gone around to her moms, who had let her use the phone. And she sat and listened to the wedding march, hearing the sighs as Anya had walked up the aisle. But then the panic when Oz had pulled Willow aside. The phone had been stuffed in Willows pocket; Buffy forgotten about as she listened to the muffled panic in the best mans voice. She heard Oz tell his girlfriend that Xander had 'hopped it'. Buffy felt the ice fingers grip her as her mobile rang, to see the international call number flash. Hanging up her mothers phone, she picked up hers.

"Hey Xand…" Buffy tried to say casually.

"Hey Buff," His voice high and on edge.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting married?" Buffy asked feeling her hope slide away.

"Um, Yes. I think Anya's standing under the Gazebo about now." He chuckled harshly before adding.

"I can't do it." 

"Yes you can Xander… You love her." Buffy tried to reason.

"Do I?" 

"Of course you do. Or else why did you ask her to marry you?" 'Good Buffy' she thought, 'reasoning's a good thing'.

"Honestly… height of passion." 

"Oh Xand." She said sadly. "Really?"

"Well, you should have seen her face, she looked so beautiful. When I asked her, she lit up, like it was the most important question she had ever been asked. And I hadn't the heart to say I didn't really mean it… so I thought 'I know, long engagement.' But she wanted it to happen straight away, no matter what I said."

"But… you love her, you know all her bad parts, right? And still you were with her yesterday… so she's not that bad." 

"No Buffy, she perfect. Too perfect, I'm frightened that I won't be all she deserves. Buff I can't marry her. It's all too much way to soon. I mean am I ready to, I don't know have kids?" 

"Xander, you don't have to have kids the minute you get married, it could be just you and Anya. Happy, together… in love." Buffy's voice grew quieter, as she realised the fear gripping her best friends heart. A panic that she to felt whenever Riley talked about 'rugrats' and marriage. She wanted to tell him to run, and never look back. But she had no right to put her own fears into his life. 

"Xander. Honey listen, do what you think best. I'll always be there for you." She listened for any noise, a sign he was still there, and it came in a form of a sniff, then another until she could hear him wail. 

"Xand, Xander don't cry, come on sweetie, everything will be alright, you just need to clear your head."

          After more endearments from Buffy, Xander finally stopped. 

"I've been wondering around for nearly forty-five minutes, and not once have I thought, 'I'll go back. Get married' I don't want to be tied down." 

          For nearly thirty minutes Buffy and Xander spoke, Buffy trying to get Xander to be happy, Xander trying to get his point across, both in the end getting their succeeding. Xander decided to travel for a while, he was going to phone Willow, leave a voicemail for Anya, and disappear for a while. 

          And he did. Nobody heard from him for nearly four months, and then he came back. Anya was dealing, not very well at first, but soon after being left at the alter; she became a little better at coping. When they first bumped into each other at Bar Life, the local nightclub, apparently the atmosphere was thick, Anya wanted an apology and Xander wouldn't give one. He said he did the right thing, she said he broke her heart in two. 

She had stormed off that night and brought a bottle of vodka, she had gone to a derelict house, waiting to be knocked down. She drank her worries away, not knowing a thing about where she was, or what was due to happen. At nearly three in the morning she had woke up the last of the vodka sitting to her right, she picked up the nearly empty bottle and drained it into her mouth. Trying once again to wash away all the pain one Xander Harris had caused. Just as blackness began to take her again, she felt a presence, and then heard heavy footsteps. A cold hand gripped her insides, making her tense up. She was drunk but still alert. 

Then she saw them, three lads smoking very bright cigarettes in the dark room. She watched them walk towards her hoping they would miss her completely. Not notice her tiny frame. She stopped breathing and held the vodka bottle tightly in her right hand.

The first bloke was tall, blonde hair with a cap balanced to the left, his baggy trousers making him look skinnier than he was, a short sleeve shirt covering a black long sleeve top. 

The second had jet-black hair, he to was small framed, skinny, but the muscles protruded from his tight cream top, rippling as he walked. He obviously had broken his nose earlier that night, as they all laughed at the blood still dripping onto his top. 

The third was the most scariest, he was stunning, had the looks of a Greek God (although he was fully English) he had the tightest muscles Anya had ever seen, he was huge, his head a little to small for his body, yet still his baby blues shone with authority, he was boasting about a little blonde he had just fucked and dumped all in the same night, making the others laugh. He was the big boy, he was the boss of the small group, and they were hard, if not evident by the muscles but the tone of their voice.

"Hey up. What we got 'ere then? Johnny I think someone's stumbled onto our territory."

The other two laughed as Anya panicked. She couldn't see them any more; they had come to far into the shadows. 

"You know, I like blondes." Said a voice to her left. 

Anya felt fingers run through her hair softly, she closed her eyes scared to look. The fingers curled into a balled fist, and she felt herself being pulled into a standing position. Her eyes opened as the pain ran through her head, her hand gripped the one holding her locks, and she murmured about the pain.

"What that love? You think this hurts?" Anya nodded to afraid to say anything. 

"Johnny, go get the lights… wanna see if she's worth fucking." Ice fingers left her hair and held her chin, panic took aver her body as she trembled with fear. She wanted to scream, but knew there was no use. Another ice hand grabbed her bare shoulder fingers digging into the skin.

          The room lit up as two torches wandered it. The false light now illuminated Johnny's face, his piercing visible, his eyes clear, his bloody nose still dripping. 

"Go clean yourself up, then you can play. I get to go first." 

"Ok, Paul. I get to go second, Dils a messy fucker." With that the torches were passed over and pointing directly into Anya's eyes temporarily blinding her. 

"Please…" She muttered, trying hard to make her voice heard.

"Oh she speaks, what's your name sweetie? Huh I liked to scream it out as I fuck you. Makes it kinda romantic." The two left in the room laughed as she let out a squeak.

"Well I'm waiting." His hand began to caress her face. Making her skin crawl, he traced her eyes then down her nose across to her right cheek. As he traced her lips Anya opened her mouth, and as his fingers began to slip in, she bit down as hard as she could. 

          He screamed out in pain, withdrawing his fingers holding them to his chest, cursing obscenities under his breath. Seeing her means of escape Anya ran, tying to avoid the lights held by the other man. She ran into what must have been the kitchen, and straight into Johnny. He wrapped his arms tight around her waist making her scream as she saw the ringleader walk towards her. With all his might he slapped her, leaving her ears ringing, and her cheek immediately red, she screamed again as Johnny lifted her up off her feet, her back digging into his chest.

          She head butted his nose, making the blood pour once again. He dropped her to the ground and she crumbled to the floor and felt a kick in the ribs. 

"You Fucking Bitch!" Johnny screamed, as he kicked her for the second time. 

Anya cried as all three began to kick her. She felt one rib break, then another, the vodka bottle was still in the other room, and she had no way of defending herself.

          The kicks still rained over Anya's body and she tried to stand, the men finally laid off. Blood was all over her, she felt her bones scream in agony, her head seemed to make her feel dizzy and sick. As she stood tall she threw up over Paul's shoes. As she heaved for the final time, pain so painful it became numb, she looked into the eyes of the Dil. He didn't seem to do anything, just seemed to be along for the ride, she searched his eyes with her puffed out black ones, and tried to search out the goodness from within him. He just laughed as Paul made a comment about his new Doc Martians; once again she searched his eyes as Johnny pushed her against the wall. 

          As he licked up her neck, she still searched his eyes begging him for help. At the same time vowing revenge on all three, that was if she managed to get away alive. She shuddered as he nipped her tender flesh under her ear. All energy seemed to leave her body, she was beaten, her body sagged as he fingered her breasts. Trying to lift her awkward top up, but failing he settled for feeling them under the material. 

          She heard a cackle of a girl and another male, walking by past the house, and the spirit within her rose. She screamed and shouted help. When her closest attacker covered her mouth, she kneed Johnny in the family jewels. Slowly and in great pain she ran. She jumped through a pane-less window, landing on grass, a girl noticing her and shouted to her boyfriend. She ran over to see if Anya was all right, and stopped when she saw a lifeless girl covered in blood. 

          The minute Xander heard he was at the hospital. He sat by her side until she woke up, and whilst he waited, he vowed to make everything better. If she would let him, he asked her to marry her the first time they made love when she got out of hospital. She declined, and when he asked her again, she agreed, after a few months they were wed, and Buffy was able to be there. Angel had let her have the time off. That was the last time she had seen her friends up till now. So much had changed, she just hoped she could handle them all grown up, when inside she still felt like an 18 year old.

*-*-*-*-*-*

          She had decided to take a big step. So what if he turned her down… so what if he didn't, either way she was going to see Spike. 

          After a shower, a shave, a wash, and shampoo. She lotioned her body with her favourite vanilla moisturiser, she styled her hair and put on a tight pair of jeans and a small top. Spraying her favourite perfume, she left. 

          Jumping in a cab had been easy, as had pulling up outside the block of flats. It was knocking on the door that was hard. For nearly five minutes she stood facing the wooden door. Her hand perched ready to knock. But she couldn't. When she lent against the door her hard bag knocked the door, causing her to jump and cover her mouth, she tried with her fist to make it an even knock… so she didn't look that stupid. 

The door swung open wide, and Buffy's mouth went dry. There he stood, his toned muscles flexing on their own accord whilst the moonlight washed over him, his legs standing tall, watching her face. 

"Sorry did I wake you?" Buffy asked, frightened in case she had made a big mistake.

"Yes goldilocks, what do you want?" His voice was rough and sexy, sleep still hanging around in his features; Buffy felt her body tremble at his words. She hated the name goldilocks, but when he used it, everything bad about it seemed to disappear. 

"Well I thought that, well umm," She coughed and stared into his eyes. "I thought that we got on ok this morning and that tonight was not right." 

          He raised his eyebrow. A small scar making itself present.

"Coming in?" he asked interested, wondering whether his fantasy was going to come true. 

          Stepping over the threshold Buffy felt comfortable, Spike walked through to the living area and Buffy followed, gently they both sat down, eager to feel each other, but not daring to make the first move. So sitting at opposite sides of the couch, the waited a moment before eventually Buffy spoke up. 

"So… how come you were in the hotel room this morning when you had this place." She looked around gazing at the class of the place.

"Only got fixed up today, Whelps got some good taste, I haven't looked around yet." She smiled 

"Well what you waiting for?"  She smiled seductively, and Spike knew what ever she'd ask… He'd do.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven 

****

          Spike sighed; he was exhausted, which was not helped by the pounding hangover that was developing, neither did it help that Buffy wanted a tour of his flat. When she had entered his apartment, he had slipped a shirt and jeans on. Walked back and tried a conversation, Buffy still insisted (in little hints) that she wanted a tour. 

"So don't you wanna know what your apartments like?" she asked as he tried to change the subject again.

This time he was already up waiting for her to stand. When she looked at him quizzically he offered her a hand, and awaited her contact. 

"What? Your actually up for it?" Buffy asked rather surprised, she never thought he would really want to show her around when it was obvious he had only been in contact with the bedroom. 

"Why not?" was his response, his hand still begging to be touched as he held it out in a kind gesture.

          She looked at it, wanting to take it, and lead him through the door that led to the bedroom. Knowing that she probably would do that if she did take his hand, she got up on her own accord, smiling as she did, so hopefully he wouldn't think anything of it. 

"Right then, lets see what we 'av through 'ere." Spike's English accent rolled of his tongue with ease. Sending little tingles through Buffy at every word.

          They walked into the kitchen. Cabinets covered the walls, and right in the middle was a cooker, obviously brand new. A manual was sitting on the glass cover, and a new pair of oven mitts with the label still on, hung over the bar for the oven door. Buffy walked over to them and picked them up. Two little vampires were chasing a brunette through a graveyard, whilst she held an apple pie. 

"Ahh Spike. Do you like little vampires?" Buffy teased.

"Whelp musta' brought It." He shied away from her gaze and continued his study of his flat.

          The Fridge was silver, with a drinks slot in it, a freezer at the bottom and the fridge at the top. He opened it to find it empty, then the freezer to find that that was also missing any food. 

"Sod." He mumbled. 

"What was that?" Buffy asked walking up behind him, until she was in direct view of his rear end, as he searched the fridge again.

          It wiggled ever so slightly as he moved. It was firm and she was betting soft. She would love to just… 'Bad Buffy!' he mind cursed. She moved her gaze up a notch to where his lower back was peeping through the lifted up part of his shirt. His pale skin shining in the moonlight, her heart skipped a beat and she watched for a second before he turned and she blushed turning her head to look at silver sink.

"Sod…" he said again, this time taking in Buffy's blushing features. She turned her face to him, looking at him.

"What?" her eyes wide, as if he had insulted her.

"You asked what I said, I said Sod. You didn't listen so I said it again. Are you ok?" he ducked his eyebrows and his chin, so he was on eyelevel with the temptress in front of him. 

"Uh huh." Was her only response, every other word in the dictionary seemed to drift out of her brain as he stared into her soul. He took a small step forward as did she. Their faces centimetres apart as his hand rose to hold her cheek.

"Uh huh." He mimicked as he went for the kill. He swooped down to kiss the plump pink lips covered in lip-gloss. And as they touched in the sweetest of kisses, Buffy felt all fears and worries disappear into space. Spike felt heaven invite him in and turned it down just to stay with her lips. 

          The kiss by now had lasted maybe thirty seconds, although to the pair sharing it, time seemed to freeze. Everything else that was known to them of felt by them in the past before gracing each other's lips was forgotten. Buffy felt the warm feeling travel up her as his other hand slipped around her back, pulling her in tighter. She felt all the ease of the moment disappear as she felt the loving tender kiss turn into a romance, a commitment. She saw little ones running around their feet, and her mum crying at their wedding. 

          She heard Xander preaching how he had set the two lovebirds up. She heard 'wings beneath my wings' playing as they danced their first dance of marriage. She saw all her friends' happy faces. She felt the bile rise in her throat, she tried to enjoy the kiss, as panic took her over, and as she pulled away, she saw the complete opposite in Spikes eyes. 

          She saw his eyes speak in a language of love, and promises. Pie crust ones, which she was so use to, she saw her world stopping for this man in front of her, all for it to crumble away.

          She stepped back, afraid at being so close. At what her actions might be. Because the attraction was still there, still calling her to the flame. And how she wanted to be burnt by him, just once. But she couldn't. If she did she'd fall for him. Like she did Parker, Riley and Angel. Buffy took another step back. She looked into his face and shook her head…

"I…I… I can't do this… sorry." And she ran. Ran from the apartment, into the street, where a load of lads whistled at her as she jumped into a parked cab. 

She told him the address of the Giles' and sat back. As they pulled of she cried. Soon heart wrenching sobs wracked her body once again, as she realised how screwed up she really was.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

          Spike paced the kitchen. 

"She was 'ere. Then she weren't." his eyes searched the room, and his brain for some sort of explication of the events that had just uncurled. 

"Right, she was 'ere being all sweet, smelling pretty…looking pretty. Then she came in here. I said Sod. We kissed…" 

          He remembered the kiss, all the emotion running through his veins. It was just a kiss, no tongues, no gropes of any kind, nothing but the feeling of her against him. And she had fitted. Fitted perfectly, like no other. But she had ran away.

"I Can't…. I'm Buffy and I get scared…" Spike imitated a female American accent. He stalked through to the bedroom, stripping off all clothing; he lay down, the sheet making him curl up. He closed his eyes and felt her kiss him again; afraid to lose her this time he kept them shut tightly. He felt her lips disappear and her say sorry. 

"Bugger this!" he growled getting out of bed and heading for what must be the bathroom. 

He walked straight in, and noticed his shower. Pristine and white, jumping in without looking for towels, he turned the shower in cold. He jumped as the water hit him. And when he was done, he slid down the tiled wall letting the freezing water hit him. He felt like crying, felt a fool. He'd let her use his feelings, let her kiss him, let his feelings take over push his head aside. And now his heart was paying. 

She had walked away. Not him. He was the one feeling a fool, and he would have slept with her, and the idea still thrilled him. He wanted the little blonde so badly, and in the same day as meeting her, he had hurt her, she had hurt him. Was this what would happen if they got together? Would it just be constant pain?

The cold hit him once again. As he remembered where he was… what he needed was a good lay. To get her out of his system, he hadn't slept with someone for nearly two months and even though he had gone longer, he needed a bird to be wriggling on top of him… a nice little blonde. He never really liked blonde's… preferred the brunettes dark and mysterious. 'Well' he thought as he put on his black jeans and black T-shirt. 'Time for a little change.' He slipped on his duster and picked up his keys, fags, wallet and lighter.

*-*-*-*-*-*

"STOP!" 

Buffy shouted as they drove closer to the Giles'. Slamming the breaks down the cabbie swore.

"What?" he asked, not taking a liking to the little blonde in the back.

"I want to get out here." She wiped away the tears that had run violently down her cheeks.  

"Darling, it's the middle of the night, and you think I'm letting a little thing like you walk the streets. You must be joking. Now sit back and I'll take you home." He started the dead engine up and started to slip the gear into first, when Buffy's small voice sounded in the back of his head. 

"Sorry 'Darling', but here's your money, thanks for the lift." Buffy imitated the English word quite convincingly. 

          As she stepped out the taxi and blocked out his nasty words, she felt the nights cool air dance around her, she walked back in the direction she had just come from, not thinking anything. She watched her nails as she wandered aimlessly. 

          Her mind started to come back to her as she felt her lips being kissed. She felt the hand wrap around her to pull her in deeper, and how much she wanted to respond, how she felt right kissing the pale lips that belonged to Spike. 

          She began to walk faster as she started to imagine him sitting at his apartment, wondering what had gone on. 

Then she started to slow. It would be great to go back there, she had almost gone for it. But Spike had been the recipient to her confusing mind. She had wanted him, and then ditched him. She had been frightened, scared almost terrified.  

She looked into the stars that were playing hide and seek with the moving clouds, in the dark nights' sky. She mentally begged them for an answer, to tell her what to do. But she felt nothing. 

          She looked at the path she was walking and sat on a signpost, it was times like this she wished she smoked.

*-*-*-*-*-*-          

          Spike sat in the town centre, and at this time of night, late night partiers surrounded him, the nightclubs were closing and drunken ladies were filing out. As one took his fancy, he walked up to her. She giggled as he put her arm around her, and whispered in her ear. 

          She was pretty enough. The type he knew would be up for in, Blonde hair, short skirt, skimpy top. She had it written over her face, her lipstick smudged just a little.

"So luv. What's a pretty thing like you doing out here?" he cooed as she waved goodbye to her friends.

"Well me and my friends were celebra…celebr… umm, having a good time." She finished. 

"So…" he pursed his lips together, thoughts of the other little blondes he had only just kissed in his flat, flooding his mind. Quickly he pushed them away.

"Where's your boyfriend?" he looked into her dull eyes, noticing the drying mascara clumping on her eyelashes. 

"I umm… I don't have one." Spike jumped away from her, and put his hands in the air. 

"You are joking. A gorgeous bird with no bloke, no ties. Serious?" she giggled as she drank in his complements. Surly this had to be harder Spike thought. 

"No I had one, but he left me, about a month ago… I've *hiccup* been single before that too."

"No!" Spike put his hand up to his heart as he swooped in until he was barely a millimetre away from her ear.

"Do you want me to fill you in on what you've been missing?"

She was putty in his hands now, all her feelings were exposed and she nearly fainted against him, as he gently kissed her earlobe.

*-*-*-*-*

Buffy sat next to the big church on The Drapery. Giles had shown her this place so many times when she was here last. She had loved it; the church seemed to bring her some sort of peace, even if at this time of night it had a barrier to keep unwanted guests out. To her right she could see a MacDonald's and was seriously considering getting a burger. She was surprised it was open at 2am in the morning. To her left she could see where all the pubs/nightclubs were. There were more to her right as well as behind and in front. 

          Three men so far had tried it on, their words slurred and breaths smelling as she sat in the corner watching. So she had disregarded the rules and jumped the barrier, keeping people away. She wanted peace, a few minutes to be the real Buffy Summers, she wanted to watch others doing their own things. People fascinated her drunk or sober. She liked to watch as they went about their business. She had always wanted to be normal… whatever that was. She wanted to be a normal person, with a normal job, with a normal boyfriend, who she normally loved. She watched a couple shaded by the dark, as the girl giggled when her boyfriend whispered in her ear. 

          They stepped towards the MacDonald's and they were illuminated. She sighed as she saw the girl snuggled into his manly chest. She wished in all her heart that she could be comfortable doing that in public.  Not worrying what others thought. Caring what her friends, mom and dad thought was holding her back. Angel had been her rebelling from her 'normal guy' phase with Riley. He had been the perfect 'Son in law'; something caught her eye as the fore mentioned couple walked under the bright yellow and red sign. It was the shocking blonde hair that made her hold her breath, and as he continued to walk she noticed the duster and boots. His sharp features displayed beautifully as they walked into the fast food chain, hugging the blonde tight. 

          Suddenly Buffy was very hungry.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight  
  
Willow stroked Tara's hair lovingly. The shy girls blonde streaks glowing as they slipped through her open fingers to they join their brown haired friends once again. Tara had practically fallen asleep the minute they had walked back into her dorm room.  
  
She hadn't invited Willow to stay the night. She never had actually been officially invited to stay the night, but somehow it always got to late to walk back, and so since Oz had left Northamptonshire for the last time, Willow had only spent six nights away from her newest love. And she did love her.  
  
Willow was usually one of those people who said what she thought before thinking about it properly, but this time she was to afraid of what she could lose. She wasn't willing to give up someone who made her feel so much. She smiled a very naughty Willow smile as her hand rubbed over the annoying material that was acting as a barrier for her to touch Tara's skin.  
  
Her caress grew lighted until it was just a wish on the tips of her fingers. The peasant top wrinkled slightly at Willows mischievous touch. Her own stomach was so flat, and pale. Buffy's was well toned and tanned, all the people she had grown up with and loved had been relatively fit. Tara was different. Not in a fat way, or an ugly way. She was beautiful and caring, she was everything Willow could ever want, could ever dream. But she wasn't slim or perfect. And that made Willows heart beat rapidly. She was an ordinary person with ordinary needs and an ordinary heart.  
  
Willows heart had been broken when Oz had left her. She was distraught for days, and she had never quite thanked Xander for his friendship. She had then met Tara in a group study period in the university's library.  
  
That was how Willow coped, she hid in her work, then when it all got to much, she would break down for three or four days. But rather than stay in her pit of wallowing any longer than necessary she dedicated her entire time to her studies once again. She spent her very lonely evenings in the library, dreaming her boyfriend to realise he wanted her enough to overcome his insecurities. He hadn't given her much reason for disappearing; just that uni was too much for him. That she wasn't enough to help him sort out his mind, and that he couldn't guarantee her that he was coming back.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
"Don't wait for me." Oz's face showed no emotion, it rarely did. His voice was calm as he watched his girlfriend crumble.  
  
"Oz you can't leave. Not now. Please baby. I need you." Willow cried as he began packing his stuff in his bag. He had his own draw in her room.  
  
"Wills please, I need to sort out my head." He moved towards her and looked into her eyes. She saw a flicker of emotion run through them, and realised that he needed this, for him. He needed to make everything he had seen a few weeks ago disappear.  
  
"Are you coming back?" She hated herself for the weak female she had become, since he had told her he loved her. Since he had made love to her and told her he was hers now. She became use to him, comforted in her knowledge that he would always be around for her. She had never felt so happy before he had given her his love. And now he was leaving, going against everything she had believed in him.  
  
"I thought you were ok. You told me you were ok." Womanly pride ran through every vein and artery in the red heads body.  
  
"I told you that coz I thought I was." Again his emotions were hidden; Oz had begun to show so much to her, all through his eyes, but now nothing. She wished everything could go back to how it was. Before the band had become really popular, before he had loads of female fans, before Veruca. Not that he had been unfaithful, because to both their knowledge's the night that messed Oz up had been a drunken accident, that remained hidden in the depth of Oz's mind, but he was sure he never slept with her. He had comforted her, promising her nothing happened. And she believed him, because at that point, when they were alone, he showed her his all through his eyes.  
  
Oz began to walk away from her. She sniffed and called his name very quietly, before he turned to her she told him she loved him, that she always would, then he stormed towards her, taking her face firmly between his cold hands as he stared deep within her green pools.  
  
"God, I love you too." He whispered as he kissed her.  
  
Not a word was spoken, as they kissed for a minute, crying together, they're tears merging, soon emotional passion took over as clothes were being removed. Even as she thought back, Willow could never remember who initiated the last time their bodies would meet to become one. But she could still smell him as he let the emotion wash over him, as he came cradling her, feeling her orgasm milking him.  
  
They laid in Willows bed hugging until she fell asleep, she was still unsure whether at that point in time she knew that when she fell asleep he would be gone when she woke up. But it was fair to say she felt used when she found only her naked form lying amongst the sheets and a letter that just read:  
  
Sorry.  
  
O xxx  
  
Then she cried and the healing process began.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Once in the library she noticed the shy mousy blonde haired girl. There wasn't this big neon board above her head saying.  
  
Meet me and become a lesbian!  
  
So Willow smiled, thus proving to herself that she still could, then she got to talk to the girl, discovering her name was Tara. They realised how much they had in common and listened as each other told their own stories of their crappy home life.  
  
They became best friends and secretly yearned for more, although neither would admit it. Willow had known Tara was a lesbian, she known by the first day they met. And she never once felt threatened.  
  
Her hand was well underneath the peasant top by now. She felt the light skin and began her light touch upwards; she could feel the material of the bra her lover wore and just wanted it to be gone. She longed to feel the things Tara and only Tara could make her feel, damning herself for laying on her side, leaving her with only one hand, she slowly removed it from the layer of material it was hidden under. Willows hand shook ever so slightly as she moved the hair of her lover behind her ear. Slowly she kissed her neck careful not to make a sound that might startle her.  
  
Willow wanted the woman she would love until her dying days to wake to a wonderful feeling. She wanted to show her how loving someone as special as Tara felt.  
  
Tara began to wake timidly, afraid to open her eyes as she felt a certain loving red head kiss her.  
  
"Hey baby." Willow whispered between kisses as she caught a glimpse of fluttering eyelashes.  
  
"Hi."  
  
Willow began to caress Tara's stomach as she nibbled ever so gently on her ear, a moan escaped Tara's lips as she felt her womb contract. She tried to move her hands but felt Willows slip from her stomach under her waistband and gasped.  
  
"W-Willow honey, w-what are you doing?" she stuttered as Willows fingers tangled in her dark curls.  
  
"Showing you. what you. do to me." Willow answered excited as she traced Tara's outer lips.  
  
The mousy blonde let out an audible sigh before biting her lip, trying to keep quiet, so not to wake their neighbours who could hear a pin drop through the paper-thin walls.  
  
Never touching her inner parcel, Willow begun to move, only to hover over her girlfriend.  
  
"Your so beautiful." She whispered as she began to undo the buttons on the side of her hips, kissing the owner beneath her passionately as she grinded her hips into Tara's thigh desperate for some friction. Soon their Skirt's and top's had been discarded, the two touching each other with trembling fingers.  
  
Tara was now kissing Willow with just as much earnest as she had been, but wanted and needed sweet release.  
  
"Willow, Please." Tara begged as willow kissed lower and lower.  
  
She gave a quick flash of a smile before pulling down the thongs covering her favourite toy.  
  
She kissed the thighs of the woman she loved slowly and sensuously until she knew she was more than ready, she heard a whimper as she stopped her long lick up the inner thigh and smiled as she blew a cold stream of air onto the bundle of nerves that would set her girlfriend off.  
  
And she was right, Tara's hips buckled at the feel of cool air. Then when it was replaced by a warm Willow mouth, Tara felt she had died and gone to heaven.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
"Umm I'll have medium fries please." Buffy whispered as she watched the couple through the mirror positioned behind the counter.  
  
"Fries? Do you mean chips miss?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." She nodded not really listening. The man walked away swearing under his breath about arrogant pretty customers.  
  
Giggles could be heard fluttering around the fast food building, making the hairs on Buffy's arm stand up to attention, at the thought of what Spike was doing to provoke such a response.  
  
"Here you are." Buffy put a pound coin on the surface, smiled ever so slightly, and picked up her fries.  
  
"Miss. your change." The young man shouted, but she was back outside before he had noticed.  
  
Spike heard the strong English accent carry around the small restaurant top floor. He looked behind him, becoming very bored very quickly by the blonde in front eating her meal, sauce in between the joining of her lips, once again he turned away to look at the swinging ever busy door.  
  
"So. Spiky what do you think?" Harmony asked.  
  
"Yea sure." Spike nodded not even hearing what he was agreeing to.  
  
"Really! That's great! You're such an understanding man. I mean most men wanna do it on the first night you know. A quickie. but I knew you were different, and waiting for me and all. God you just so great!" she squealed loud enough for the whole of McDonalds to hear.  
  
Spike started choking as he realised what she had just said. No Quickie. No get-it-out-of-your-system-fuck. or get Buffy out your system, he reminded himself. He closed his eyes and lent on his thumb and index fingers as they began to rub his temples.  
  
"Oh God, Spiky are you alright." She asked as he finished his coughing fit to land in his hands.  
  
"Umm hum." Spike nodded. Suddenly his head shot up as an idea entered his head, looking straight into Harmony's eyes he blurted out.  
  
"You want a drink?"  
  
"God I thought you'd never ask." She answered loudly. And if she used the word God one more time. Spikes thought trailed of as he sat up thankful he hadn't taken his duster off. Didn't want to explain why he was putting it on just to go to the counter.  
  
She sighed as she saw the duster trail around him as he stalked around the corner towards the counter. She smiled and thought about lighting up a cigarette. She noticed Spike smoked but hadn't wanted to seem a scab asking for a fag. She sank into the seat and thought of all things Spiky.  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Willow whispered Tara's name as she reached her second orgasm, a few weeks ago she had picked up a little blue dolphin, that was no bigger than her index finger nail, with a vibrating base. and with Tara's finger playing with her special spot inside her at the same time. amazing.  
  
Cleaning her up with her tongue, Tara soon rejoined her girlfriend on the pillow, the kissed and shared each other's juices in the sweetest of kisses.  
  
"Hum nice way to wake up." Tara sighed, hugging her lover close, feeling sleep beckoning her once again.  
  
"Now you're falling asleep again!" Willow laughed. "Did I tire you that much?"  
  
"No, Yes. lets sleep yea sweetie?"  
  
"Sleep sounds good," Willow pulled the cover above them so they could get warm.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
"Yes." Willow answered feeling sleep take over her too.  
  
"Are you happy about us?" Tara felt dread take her. She loved Willow and was yet to tell her, but first she needed reassurance.  
  
"After that? Think I'll be sure and ecstatic for a long time yet." She opened her eyes and stared straight into her girlfriends brown orbs.  
  
"Are you?" she asked insecurely.  
  
"Yea." she smiled kissing the swollen lips that were pouting ever so slightly.  
  
"Good cause umm." The timing had never felt so perfect, and yet the words were so hard to say. She could lose it all.  
  
"I.I Love you. I mean." Tara didn't give Willow a chance to say it back, as the deer-caught-between-headlights look kicked in on the redhead.  
  
"I don't know how you feel, b.but I can't not tell you." she smiled nervously as Willow swept into a heart-stopping kiss.  
  
"I love you too baby. I really do."  
  
Their mood took over them as they uttered their words of love over and over.  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
Spike pushed past the crowd that had formed outside the small McDonalds earning a few stares, he pushed past one large man this time getting a shove back.  
  
"What's your problem?" the man asked.  
  
"What?" Spike asked turning back now on the edge of the pavement.  
  
"You don't go shoving people like you own the place." The man raised his voice stepping closer. A crowd had now formed behind the black guy, rains of fights being whispered amongst them.  
  
Spike had never been one to back away from a fight, and although this man was twice his size and width, he was worried Harmony might notice, thus causing him more agonising time to be spent with her, he decided that it would be too much of a punishment if he stayed.  
  
"Sorry mate. Didn't realise you could own a curb." With that he turned to walk away only to feel a hand on his shoulder turning him around.  
  
Buffy was back sitting on the church's steps. She watched as Spike had left the food place without the loud blonde, she contemplated going over to see him, but then saw him having a confrontation with a black man. She didn't reckon his chances much, and smiled.  
  
"Deserves what he gets." Buffy whispered, starting a bit when a large crowd formed behind the man.  
  
Getting worried she stood up to see him walk away. Only to be stopped by the aforementioned black man.  
  
Spike hit him square in the nose, before the man made any sort of move, she watched him gain the upper hand, as he kicked him in the legs sending the large man to the fall.  
  
"The larger they are." He added another kick to the stomach, "The harder they fall." With a turn of his duster he walked away a small smirk gracing his features.  
  
She ran to catch up with him, not bothering to think of the consequences.  
  
Staying behind him not saying a word she followed him to the front of his apartment building.  
  
"The wander returns." He chuckled before opening the door enough to let her in before him. At her hesitation he chuckled again.  
  
"What's up goldilocks? Scared big bad's gonna bite?" with that he walked inside the building letting the door close behind him.  
  
A few thoughts crossed Buffy's mind as she reached for the door. None good enough to stop her from following, she was going to give him. a piece of my mind she reminded herself.  
  
Once on the stairs she reached out and touched him, her touch burning him, making him shift his arm out of reach.  
  
"So she didn't stick around?" She asked afraid of saying anything else. He turned to look at her under lazy eyes before tutting and spinning through a door that led to his floor.  
  
Unlocking the door slowly he left the door wide for her to follow. Once he heard the door shut he looked her in the eyes.  
  
"Like following me Summers?" his jaw tight, head slanted to the right.  
  
"WHAT?" she shouted outraged that he would accuse her of following.  
  
"Well you followed me here, you were obviously following me about with Harmony."  
  
"OH The tramp has a name!" she yelled. Then dropping her voice she shied away  
  
"Yep. funny seems we all do love."  
  
"It's not like I care you know."  
  
"Bout what?"  
  
"You sleeping around, I don't care." She stated again. And she didn't care about his past. She wanted him; she had proved that much by following him, by being jealous of the tramp. She had proved it by leaving him after their kiss. It made sense that she had panicked. She had never felt anything like it before.  
  
"I should bloody well hope so." Spike shouted his voice raising, as did his manly tone. The shrill sound of his voice that had a hint of a chuckle hidden within it brought her hurtling back to her body.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know what, your to much trouble. You drive me made and I don't even know you. I wouldn't know you existed if I hadn't tagged along as a favour to Harris." Spikes hands held up tight in front of him as he thought of what to say.  
  
Buffy beat him to it. She grabbed his hands lacing her fingers around his. She let a sigh escape her lips as the electricity ran through her body joining its partners in the meeting between her legs. She closed her eyes slightly enjoying the feelings. Making it obvious what she was experiencing. Which wasn't far off from what Spike himself felt. How was he supposed to get angry when she was so close? Slowly she let her eyes flutter open.  
  
"Spike can we." she nodded towards the sofa. "Please." 


	9. Authors note

I will no longer be continuing this fan fiction. How ever, Williams Girl (as you wish, black out, Mindstorm) and I have decided to write a new story together, In The Still Of The Night. So keep an eye out!  
  
One day I will resume work on "Californian Girl" but I feel I need to learn a few tricks of the trade.  
  
Big hugs  
  
Little_mel_ 


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